Lockdown Phish Food

- Having trouble with everybody in the house eating your Phish Food?
- Finding yourself becoming a Chunky Monkey?
- Constantly want to revel in One Sweet Whirrled?

Ben & Jerry's has a solution for you. Click below to order the Pint Lock:




-El Capitan

"Can't Repeat"

Really diggin' the new Offspring song - "Can't Repeat."

Click below to check it out:



-El Capitan

Silent Bob Speaks!

Guess what? Kevin Smith has his own blog!

Visit it here:



-El Capitan

The 4th Wall

Lately, the Dark Lord of the Sith, a.k.a. muscle man of the Galactic Empire, a.k.a. Darth Vader, has hit legendary status of breaking the proverbial "Fourth Wall." This is when characters in a screen setting (large or small) interact with the audience, or put their likeness in a scenario not expected or seen before (see also K5 or Kayfabe)

Great examples include half the script for The Family Guy, select scenes from Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, and the series finale of 80's show Newhart.

Recent Star Wars examples include the Pepsi commercials with Yoda and Chewbacca.

Back to the topic at hand, Lord Vader seems to have his hands full with some freelance work. Click the picture below to enjoy some more Empire goodness:



-El Capitan

Bring On The ABA!

On the verge of the NBA going the way of the NHL (after this season, they need to overhaul the Collective Bargaining Agreement, or there will be an NHL-like strike), the ABA is beefing up it's roster of teams. Here are two of the newest:

First, let's visit Miami. What can we call the team?
How about the Miami Marlins?
Nope - that's taken...
How about the Miami Ice?
Nope - makes no sense.
I got it! What animal is BANNED in Miami?
How about the:

We'll call it the Florida Pitbulls so that nobody figures out it's in Miami!

OK, now Charlotte needs a team...
There's always the Charlotte Hornets?
Nope - that failed once already...
How about the Charlotte Rae's?
Nope - Tootie and Natalie wouldn't allow it...
I got it! What recent popular phrase symbolizes the spirit of the ABA and Charlotte in general?
How about the:

Bring on Lil' Jon and the Ying Yang Twins!

Click here to check out the rest of the ABA:


-El Capitan

Wrigley STADIUM?

OK, so everybody knows that I'm a huge fan of the Cubbies (of Wrigley FIELD), and everybody knows that I'm a huge fan of Jeff Gordon (go Dad!). But unlike a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or some Goober Grape, or even a Vick's Menthol Breathe Right Strip (does anybody remember that commercial?) there is a MAJOR problem when the two join forces...

What happened this past Tuesday was just plain bad...

Don't know what I'm talking about? Click below to find out:



(The link will open up Windows Media Player)

As bad as this was, it's just too good to hide... No pink elephants in this here room... Only a confused Rainbow Warrior...

-El Capitan

Dub-T

Click the picture below for a sharply tongued diatribe on the fall of Britney Spears, and the clusterfuck that is her new reality show:


Written by Babylon, a FORMER fan...

-El Capitan

DVD Goodness

Straight from The Digital Bits:

8.2.05 - Tommy Boy: "Holy Schnikes" Special Collector's Edition
8.16.05 - Sin City (Special Edition next year...)
11.1.05 - War of the Worlds: Special Collector's Edition
11.8.05 - Star Wars - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
11.15.05 - Airplane: "Don't Call Me Shirley" Special Collector's Edition

Does it get any better?

-El Capitan

Crushed and Melted

I'm a big fan of seeing humor in an everyday setting... Every once in a while, you catch one like this:



From the NEW Chili's, in Weston (Why did I move so soon?)

-El Capitan

Foamy

I can't believe I hadn't put this up sooner...

Ever see a REALLY angry squirrel? Click here to learn all about Foamy, and his thoughts on life:



Highly recommended: "Foamy's Rant V"

-El Capitan

Found Porn?

Somebody get Maxim Magazine on the phone... I think I've FOUND PORN!

So, I went to PetSmart yesterday - Paris needed some food - and I'm looking at the toys for her (she's SO spoiled!)... Anyways, I come across the following toys:





What do you think?

-El Capitan

Morning Glory?

If you were Darth Vader, what would YOU do with your morning?



-El Capitan

The View Askewniverse Expands

So, later this year, presumably in the fall, Kevin Smith and company will drop not one, but TWO DVD's on us:

- An Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder
- Mallrats X: 10th Anniversary Edition

Somebody made a trailer for the latter, mixing it with the Batman Begins sound. Check it out here:



Classic!

-El Capitan

The Sith Sense

Another GENIUS website/promotion by Burger King. Click below for "The Sith Sense":


You, too, can challenge Darth Vader to a good 'ol game of 20 Questions...

Enjoy!

By the way, for those who forgot, or just haven't been there in a whlie, don't forget to visit the Subservient Chicken here:


-El Capitan

[No Title Necessary]

-El Capitan

Crying, While Eating

Here it is folks - recommended by Tiffany:



Click to learn more, and see people Crying, While Eating...

Strange.........

-El Capitan

I Rule...

Another site sent to me once upon a time... Click below for Maddox, and his opinions on YOUR kid's art:



-El Capitan

Tucker Max

Still wiping the tears from laughter...

Tucker Max is a local rich kid. His family owns all of the Max restaurants (Max's Grille in Weston and Fort Lauderdale, Cafe Max, the old Brasserie Max, etc...)

Make sure you check out his blog/page here:


WARNING: Only for those with a strong stomach and/or sense of humor...

As wrong as it, the story that had me crying:
(We'll just call it the second story down...)

-El Capitan

Slightly Funny, Mostly Gross...

The source of the Wendy's finger has been found! Check out eBay:


Not funny "ha ha"
Funny "weird"

-El Capitan

Grrrr, bark, woof.

-El Capitan

Star Wars Kid

In honor of this weeks big movie opening (you didn't know there was one?), let's revisit the famed "Star Wars Kid."

Long before Numa Numa entered our world, this poor chubby kid (hey - I'm not one to speak here...) decided to film the choreography for his own light saber duel.

He didn't know anybody would see the tape.

Here he is, in all his glory, in the original, plus 4 different "remixes":



-El Capitan

The Chronicles of George

This is something that Jon showed me a long time back, and I think the world needs to laugh their asses off... We've come to a day and age where pretty much EVERYBODY knows how to use a computer, and most of the correct terminology.

George is not one of those people. Enjoy:



-El Capitan

Paris, Lola, & Bailey - Be Afraid!

OK, the strangest bit of Star Wars merchandise I've seen yet:



Click the image above to see the rest, including Doggie Yoda and Doggie Vader!

I dont know if it's scarier that something like this exists, or that you can't get it in Mexico?!

-El Capitan

Damn you, iPod and iTunes!

Apple keeps making these bad ass commercials, with completely addicting songs. With me under their spell, they've got me downloading left and right... Here's my latest addiction:

   
On the left is a link to download the newest single by Daft Punk called "Technologic." On the right is a link to view the Apple iPod commercial from which I became addicted.

-El Capitan

A change of pace...

Enough of the video games for now...

Saw this site, thought it was pretty funny...

Click below for:
50 Fun Things To Do With Your iPod
(besides listen to music with those white earbuds)


-El Capitan

"You say you want a Revolution?"

Last, but certainly not least, the Nintendo Revolution:





Click the picture for more details!

From MSNBC:
"When the Revolution is released, players will be to download more than 20 years worth of Nintendo games from all the previous platforms, such as the NES and Nintendo 64. The new console will support both a new disc format and discs from Nintendo’s current console, the GameCube. Nintendo also said it would offer an add-on unit that would let the Revolution play standard DVDs. The console will feature wireless controllers, two USB ports and built-in wireless Internet access."

In similar news, the new GameBoyMicro was announced. Click the picture for more details:

-El Capitan

CHANG3

Behold - The Playstation 3:

The good:


The badass:


And the ugly:


Cell Chip running 4 GHz, 3 built-in Ethernet Ports, DUAL HDMI support...

Dual HDMI = dual screen support!

Should be VERY interesting...

-El Capitan

"Laugh it up, Fuzzball..."

OK, folks - of all of the Star Wars parodies, THIS is the one getting all the press...

Click here to see "A Lost Hope":


Also, for a limited time, a 20 minute blooper reel is available here:


Hilarious!

-El Capitan

He's Not crazy? So confused!

From E! Online:

"I'm not crazy. I'm not smoking crack. I'm definitely stressed out."

That's the update from Dave Chappelle, who, after being MIA for the past few weeks, has turned up in South Africa, where he granted a interview to Time magazine for its new issue.

Click here to read the rest of the story:


-El Capitan

He is as real as you and me...

Click to learn all about Gaylord M. Focker:


-El Capitan

Mexcellent!

And while we're at it, those who haven't seen Ron Mexico, or heard the story, here's your chance:
   

And the story:


-El Capitan

The hits just keep on comin'...

The flood of Star Wars parodies that seems to arrive once every three years has joined us again... Click below for one of the funnier ones:



-El Capitan

Umm....

Tree Humping in action!


-El Capitan

Separated At Birth?

-El Capitan

Cutest. Terrorist. Ever!

I'm just speechless... Click here to see why:


BTW, 5 more days until Team America: World Police UNRATED DVD:


America - FUCK YEAH!

-El Capitan

Ask, and ye shall find...

The "DayTony 500" video has been found!

Click here to laugh your ass off:


In the words of Babylon: "Who's the Boss now Danza!?!"

-El Capitan

Tony Danza: Race Car Victim?

OK, REALLY looking for video of this one - I heard it's hysterical!

Apparently, Rusty Wallace almost accidentally killed Tony Danza:


-El Capitan

The Saga Continues: Crazy?

From E! Online:

He hasn't been seen on set for weeks. His hit show has been shut down. And his friends are speculating on various reasons for his purported meltdown.

Now comes word that Dave Chappelle is undergoing treatment in a psychiatric facility in South Africa.

Give Dave a click to read the whole story:


-El Capitan

Do you know what time it is?

Courtesy of EBaum's World

-El Capitan

A New Spin on Numa Numa

Courtesy of EBaum's World

-El Capitan

Blogs? They're EVERYWHERE!

Just wanted to direct ya'll to one of my best friend's eventual blog... He's got a great graphic placeholder in the meantime...

(You gotta wonder what's on Darth Vader's playlist...?)

Anyways, check out his page, which will eventually house his blog:


-El Capitan

What the heck is a blog?

The Daily Show did a GREAT piece on blogging last night... I highly suggest checking out the 7:00 tonite to see it...


Also, Al Roker has some insight into the world of Blogging... Click his picture to find out more:


-El Capitan

(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

You Can't Always Get What You Want...
But if you try sometimes...
You might find...
You get what you NEED!



The Stones are coming!

Bet you didn't know...

I'll bet you didn't know that Kickball Shoes even existed!
I gots mines today!



-El Capitan

Creepy...

You know that fake smile - the one that you make for EVERY picture? This girl sure does...



-El Capitan

A Toast to the Runaway Bride...

Kidneys, families, grilled cheese, used shampoo... What else might we find on eBay?

Oh yeah - this:


Your very own piece of Jennifer Wilbanks toast...

-El Capitan

Another Star Falls

It's only a matter of time before the video of this one is available...

Apparently, KC of KC and the Sunshine Band took a fall Saturday night:



-El Capitan

Apples, Gorillaz, & Rollerskates

Apple released iTunes v4.8 today... They added music video download into this one (along with the previously released playback), so it's pretty cool...

I highly recommend downloading if you get a chance...

Also, digging the new Gorillaz song - from the new iPod commercial... here's a link to the single, and another to the commercial:

   

-El Capitan

A Partial Answer...

Somebody's tired...


-El Capitan

One more month!

I know, it's not exactly NEW news, but...



...I'm just so excited!

(Here's to simple pleasures...)

-El Capitan

60% percent of the time...

...it works every time.



-El Capitan

Five More Days...!

-El Capitan

Feel The Rhythm

Some people say I have way too much time on my hands...

This was just too cool!

Spasmodic

-El Capitan

Not the Brightest Star in the Sky

Every time I see or hear an interview with Paris Hilton, I just feel like... DUH!



At least she has the good sense to wear an Urlacher jersey (although she probably doesn't know it)...

-El Capitan

We All... Fall... DOWN!

You gotta love when famous people fall...



-El Capitan

A Flock Of Seagulls Reunites!

Sure... blame it on a seagull:

Chlamydia outbreak kills a dozen penguins
Seagull most likely transmitted bacteria to the birds



-El Capitan

Play Kickball!

For those of you who might have wondered...



Signup for the next season begins in May, and the season starts in July!

-El Capitan

Just a note

Almost ALL images in here are clickable links...

Don't know why I had to tell you that, but I did - so HAH!

-El Capitan

"I Dig Music..."

One of the best scenes from Almost Famous-
Russell Hammond: "I dig music... I'M ON DRUGS!"

I know I'll draw a little criticism for this, but there are two albums that I just can't stop listening to:

   

MCR is fast, loud, and fun...
Shooter is your good 'ol country boy-gone rock...

Both great albums, and I highly recommend checking them both out. Each album cover above is a link to iTunes...

-El Capitan

You've heard of the Camel Toe...

...Here's the Whale Tail



-El Capitan

Cinco de Mayo!

Corona.com - Miles Away From Ordinary

Yub Nub!

Star Wars Timeline and Family Tree