The FlowRider®

Anybody who know me (and my passion for my job) knows how psyched I get for new features on cruise ships. This morning, Royal Caribbean revealed the newest trick they had hiding up their sleeves:

The FlowRider® - an actual "surf-simluator" at sea... Fucking AMAZING!

Click on the picture below to see it in action:



This is just the newest feature to be added to the Freedom of the Seas, which will launch in May, 2006 as the largest cruise ship afloat (over 158,000 gross registered tons). In addition, the ship will feature the usual Royal Caribbean facilities, such as an ice-skating rink, rock-climbing wall, Johnny Rockets, and full-court basketball court. The other big rumor is a "lazy river" onboard, but we'll see when they reveal EVERYTHING in a press conference today.

-El Capitan

These are Crazy, Crazy Nights!

Think it's hard to imagine some of your favorite cuddly friends out on a pub crawl? Please - allow me to shatter that image for you.

Click on each of the photos below to enjoy the wild nights of both Guiness Bear (my personal favorite Care Bear) and your favorite Muppet, Kermit THE Frog:





-El Capitan

Singin' Soprano

This soccer player was just doing his job. Too bad the grass (and a little momentum) wanted to push him a little farther than he wanted to go...

Feel the pain:



-El Capitan

RealiTOYs

In the lastest round of stuffed toys for kids, reality begins to shine through...

Check them out:



-El Capitan

Don't get caught...

For those who don't know, in order to run your own web page, you need to have a host. You pay for how much bandwidth is used each month, and some people try to get around this. One such method involves linking images to your site from somebody else's site.

A perfect example is this dude, who tried to show a bunch of topless celebs. The original site that hosted the pictures found out about the drain on their bandwidth, so they changed all of the images on their site to reflect it. Click on this one below, and see all of the changes:



Putz!

-El Capitan

Power Sitting

Dr. Angus is at it again, with his newest gimmick, Power Sitting. Click below to check it out:



On a completely irrelevant, yet tremendously funny side note:

"I went to a doctor. All he did was suck blood from my neck. Don't go to see Dr. Acula."
-Mitch Hedberg

-El Capitan

Found Porn? (v2.0)

Why? That's all I ask... Why?

Found this one on the shelves of my local Winn Dixie:



-El Capitan

Wear the Fox Hat

Couldn't get a screen cap of this video, but it's too funny, nonetheless...

Like me, you may need to watch it once or twice to get it, but it's very short, and quite painless...

Click on the Fox Hat to check it out:



-El Capitan

"Knowing is half the battle..."

In the wake of all the safety announcements and alerts and whatnot that have gone on over the past few days, I dug up this group of G.I. Joe PSAs from the past. You won't remember any of these from the actual G.I. Joe show, as these are the much raunchier (a.k.a. "adult") versions of those same G.I. Joe PSAs... I've picked my favorite, and then added a link to all of them at the bottom. Enjoy:



And now, all of them (there are 25 total):


Go Joe!

-El Capitan

Oh Wah Tah Na Siam

I was just going back over my "Go Noles!" post, and I realized something...

"Oh What An Ass I Am..."

I don't know whether it's luck, fate, or just good Karma, but either way, I'm very thankful for what I have and where I am. I can't even imagine the sheer panic and fear that the people of Louisiana and Mississippi must be going through right now. My thoughts and hopes go out to them all.

Here's an updated image of where that bitch Katrina is heading:



Oh, and here's a VERY old tree right around the corner from my old house in Cooper City (Florida for you non-locals):



Simply amazing what this thing can do...

-El Capitan

Go Noles!

No, I haven't gone completely fucking nuts, although this storm is pushing me to that extent...

This storm has become INCREDIBLY ANNOYING! At this point, I'm almost willing to root for the Seminoles (I'm a Gator who bleeds Orange and Blue), just so that I can express my ill will toward Hurricanes.

Is it Saturday yet?

I can live with the rain. That's all fine and well. It's the constant power outages and howling wind that really "Grind My Gears..." (there's a little Family Guy humor for those who have seen The Untold Story of Stewie Griffin before it's September 27th release...)

Here's the current picture of Katrina. This one isn't dynamic like the earlier post - it's static, and it sucks. The storm is moving SO slow that even if I did upload the dynamic picture, it probably wouldn't change for HOURS... Click to enlarge:



And here's the MSNBC Front Page picture. Click on it to go to their story:


I'm SO ready for Saturday, and the AFFL Draft. More on that later - as long as I have electricity...

-El Capitan

Thud!

Let me introduce you to the ThudGuard - Infant Protective Safety Hat...

Ok, so I can understand the use of this product for poor, wobbly little children learning how to walk like a newborn pony. But, did they have to make it look so goofy? Is it even possibly NOT to make it look goofy? Either way, the kids end up looking like future students of BRR...

At least they could have had one of the baby-models wearing the iPodMyBaby get-up...

Enjoy:


Silly, I tell you... Just plain silly!

-El Capitan

Who's that knocking on my door?

Why, it's Katrina, of course!

Just in time for the AFFL Draft (Fantasy Football, of course), Katrina & the Waves (remember "Walking on Sunshine?") have decided to come our way, and plow straight through South Florida...

Watch all the fun from your safe, dry locations up north:


Is it November 30 yet?

-El Capitan

¡Yo Hablo Google!

In order to compete with the "Big Boys" (i.e. AOL/AIM/ICQ, Yahoo!, MSN), Google has joined the revolution and introduced their own Instant Messaging program.

Google Talk uses the Jabber IM client to connect to other Googlers... You can use the actual GoogleTalk software, or you can connect on any Jabber capable client (i.e. Trillian Pro, iChat, etc).

In order to sign up for Google Talk, you must have a GMail account. Thankfully, I still have MORE than enough invites left. If you're interested, drop me an e-mail at josh [at] fluxw.com or IM me on AOL/AIM at LBCapt. (To add me to your GoogleTalk Buddy List, add lbcapt [at] gmail.com). As always, PLEASE no spam... (we all know what happened to that Russian guy...)

For more on Google Talk, give it a knock below:


-El Capitan

When In Need...

"Necissity is the Mother of invention. Dire situations inspire ingenious solutions. If worse comes to worst, people will apply all their imagination and skill to deal with the problem."
-Richard Franck

Oh, what a comfortable bed! This dude, a software engineer, actually fashioned himself a COMPLETE set of furniture, using only FedEx boxes and supplies.

Click the couch below (complete with "secret hidden compartment") to check out FedExFurniture.com:



It's OK To Be Ghetto!

-El Capitan

Creating Memories...

Get your once (or twice) in a lifetime Honeymoon Memories captured by VanderTramp, Inc. Relive the moment over and over and over again...

Check out the hilarious promo:


It's a little bit "Funny Ha Ha" and a little bit "Funny Weird..." Either way, you gotta laugh at the spokesman, and his world-class (fake) mustache...

-El Capitan

F.U.T.O. (For You T.O.)

You gotta read this letter "written" by little Jeremy, from Philly. His mission? Helping Terrell Owens feed all 12 million of his family members (or at least that's how many hot dogs he can buy with the next $3 million)...

And you thought it stood for something else? Damn!?

Click below to read what he wrote, and contribute:




Can anybody find me a kid to write a letter to Cedric Benson?

-El Capitan

I Used My Mulligan...

Give or take replacing the word "wife" with "husband," for some reason I can picture my ex wearing this shirt - especially since she's such an avid golfer:



Hrm... Whaddya think?

-El Capitan

"A shark ate me!"

Shows how little YOU know about Samuel L. Jackson:



-El Capitan

Urban Ninja - Sneaky, Sneaky

This dude totally sneaks up on unsuspecting people, and somehow, WE benefit!

Laugh away:




-El Capitan

Paul Oakenfold - Bum?

Most of you know Paul Oakenfold - DJ extraordinaire... Now, meet Paul Oakenfold - the Homeless Guy!

Observe, as this "Paul" shows you his version of "El Shocker," and makes his way around the club scene:



-El Capitan

Taradise

Thanks to Cassie for bringing this trainwreck to light...

Let's see if ya'll agree with this equation:

  MTV's Trippin' (Cameron Diaz heading to AMAZING locales)
+ UPN's Chaotic (Britney & Kevin's White Trashfest)
- Cameron Diaz

---

  Taradise (American Pie lush Tara Reid hosting Wild On)

What the hell is going on with all of these American Pie chicks?

• Shannon Elizabeth and Mena Suvari get divorced...
  (Dibs on Shannon!)


• Natasha Lyonne is in ICU, fighting for her life from Hepatitis, and living on a Methadone drip...


• Tara Reid has been falling apart, hardcore, for the last year...

Sounds like a curse to me.... hrm....

At any rate, click below to check out the clusterfuck that is Taradise:



C'Mon - you KNOW a show is rotten when the world's second biggest press whore (Paris Hilton) effectively nixes her spot on the show...

(And if you're wondering who the BIGGEST press whore is? Kevin Smith is the proud, self-proclaimed World's Largest Press Whore! We applaud his efforts!)

-El Capitan

Fear Change...?

This is so cool! The new DVD set for the sixth season of The Simpsons comes in a clamshell-type box in the shape of Homer's head. Actually, this box reminds me of some of the special Happy Meals when I was a kid - you know, the ones that came in plastic boxes with stickers to decorate them?

Anyways, I digress. The package actually came with the below slip. Apparently, some of the DVD collectors are up in arms because this package doesn't match their existing Seasons 1-5 packaging. Thus, they're looking for something more staid and familiar.

Click on the image below to be taken to the site where you can order a "regular" Simpsons Season 6 Box:


Anal-retentive nerd!

-El Capitan

Thirsty Little Guy

Something you just don't see every day:




He's three and a half, and he was having a BLAST at Beach Bar last night... :)

-El Capitan

Irony and a Sandwich

So, I was on my way to the Kickball Mid-Season Charity party last night, and I dropped Jeff (Master Ei El) a line. He and I started talking Pittsburgh, and I asked what his favorite restaurant in Pittsburgh was. His response? Primanti Bros.

So, fast forward to after the party. I retreive my car from Jesus, and start heading east. All of a sudden, on my left, I see a sign. "Primanti Bros. Pittsburgh, PA. Open 24 Hours"

Holy shit!

So, I call Jeff, figuring he'd freak, but apparently he already knew... We'll be heading over there one of these days. In the mean time, check out the Primanti Bros. Website:



In the meantime, if you're in the Fort Lauderdale beach area (Sunrise and A1A), check out Primanti Bros. They're open 24/7...

-El Capitan

2 Legit 2 Quit

2 Legit 2 Quit
Originally uploaded by LBCapt.

I've gone flickr Pro!

More pics to come as soon as the hard drive is fixed!

-El Capitan

103' 31"

For those of you who don't know, my hard drive on my Dell PC at home died the other night. It lived a short life, and will be replaced by a much cuter, younger hard drive in the coming days. Here's where the confusion starts.

This past Tuesday, I spent 103 minutes and 31 seconds on the phone with Dell talking to "Brad," (yeah - you know why I'm using the quotes on that one). Although I'm almost certain it's my motherboard that is fried, "Brad" determined that my hard drive had failed, and informed me that he would be issuing a replacement. (In all fairness, I shouldn't bash "Brad," as he was probably the most competent and friendly person I've worked with at Dell. Ever.)

Anyways, today, I received a call from "Nancy," with the following message:

"Hi Josh. This is Nancy calling from Dell Hardware Support. I just called you to check the status of your computer, and, and to check whether you received your part, and your problem has been resolved. Since you were not available now, I will call you tomorrow to check the status of your computer. And I just wanted to inform you that we have dispatched the hard drive [in] your computer, and you will be receiving the part in the next 2 to 3 business days, and I will get back to you after 2 days from now to inform you about the status. Thank you for choosing Dell, and you have a wonderful day, Josh. Goodbye."

Ok, here's where I get confused.

In the first part of the message, "Nancy" tells me that she was calling to make sure I got the hard drive, and essentially that it has been installed and is working. In Part B (as I'll call it), she continues to tell me that they've just shipped the drive, and I'll get it in 2-3 days. Doesn't this contradict the first part of the message?

"Why are you guys always contradicting me?"

-Data, The Goonies

Wanna hear the actual message? Click the oh-so familiar logo below to hear it!


-El Capitan

What Would Tyler Durden Do?

A fairly new site, also in the vein of I Don't Like You In That Way and The Superficial, What Would Tyler Durden Do? is a great site for celebrity gossip, thumbnails, and hot pics...

Give Tyler's soap a rub to move on:

"Like a monkey, ready to be shot into space. Space monkey! Ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good. From now on, all those with shaved heads: 'Space Monkeys.'"

-Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), Fight Club

-El Capitan

Mighty Morphin Power Killer?

Ok, so it's never cool to laugh at murder, but there are 2 things to note in this story:

1) The main defendant is Skylar Deleon - a former extra on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers TV series...
2) His accomplices were his wife and a guy named John Fitzgerald Kennedy (yes, JFK).

You pick the stranger/funnier angle... In the meantime, read the story:



-El Capitan

Tommy Lee Goes To College

Ok, I'll admit it... I was expecting much, MUCH worse, but was pleasantly surprised while watching Tommy Lee Goes To College last night on NBC.

The show actually portrayed him as an actual student (albeit an older, more famous) one, and didn't launch into the shlock that it could have...

Click below for the OFFICIAL University of Nebraska-Lincoln site dedicated to the concept:



BTW, Tommy's tutor is HOT!

-El Capitan

Mod Your Dog!

That's right... with this simple kit, you can convert your fierce, ferocious German Sheppard into a fierce, ferocious Poodle.

Click on the box below for all the details, and hilarious step-by-step illustrated instructions:




-El Capitan

Where's Ricky?

Sync Magazine is a fairly new entry in to the gadgets/style/media market. One of their most recent articles focused on some of the Gridiron Gadgets of the future.

My favorite? The Ricky Williams GPS Tracker, of course... Click on the homeless one below to see the rest:



-El Capitan

Itchy Trigger Finger

Watch your shot there, Quick Draw McGraw!

Pay close attention:



-El Capitan

Family Guy Freakin' Blog!

Seth McFarlane, along with the cast and crew of Family Guy actually have a blog going - and it's damn funny, too! Check it out:



-El Capitan

Beyond Dub-T

This post is actually NOT about Britney Spears... Go figure...

Actually, as spotted on PlanetOgo and Gorilla Mask, check out this video/picture montage precisely set to the tune of the hillbilly classic, Dueling Banjos:




-El Capitan

Kuwabara, Kuwabara

Anybody who knows me knows I'm TERRIFIED of lightning. The storms we've had here lately have really jarred my nerves. I'm often found muttering the phrase "Kuwabara, Kuwabara," which I picked up, oddly enough, from a video game (Metal Gear Solid 3). I've finally found the actual history of this phrase, and how it (hopefully) protects me:

Back in 9th century, there was one Japanese aristocrat called Sugawarano Michizane. After his death, he became a thunder god and began killing his enemies with lightnings.
The land that Michizane owned was Kuwabara, so people thought it would be good idea to claim the land he/she is standing is Kuwabara, so that Michizane would hesitate to strike his own people.
The very people living in Kuwabara at that time relied the Kuwabara spell, and the land of Kuwabara is said to have remained unthundered by doing so.

Actually found this when looking for more on The Aristocrats... LOL

-El Capitan

The Aristocrats

So, there's this new docu-movie out called The Aristocrats, brought to us by Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller) and Paul Provenza (of, well, Paul Provenza - he's a stand-up comedian).

Anyways, the movie, loaded with some of the greatest comedians of our time, is about "The Greatest Dirty Joke Ever Told." Each one is on screen, and tells the joke in his/her own personal interpretation. The premise goes like this:

"A family walks into a talent agency, and the talent agent, not wanting to see yet another family act, tries to give them the boot. After a little pleading, the agent allows the family to show what they've got, and it goes something like this....."

This joke is told by comedians all over, but the joke has never been told the same way twice. It's at this point where the comedian inserts what he can think of as the most vile, horrible, wretched act (think feces and worse) that the family can display, as they portray it for the talent agent. After astounding the agent with their talents, the father shouts "Tada!" and the act is done. The agent asks, "Do you have a name for this act?" And the father responds:

"The Aristocrats!"

So, anyways, I'm dying to see this movie (don't quite know why), and have managed to find a clip of the South Park portion of the movie on CollegeHumor.com. Please click below to view this clip.

Please be warned - this is not for the weak of heart, stomach, or soul:



-El Capitan

Lazlo is Uncle Rico!

Uncle Rico is Lazlo!

That's right... It took this long to see it, but as pointed out to me this weekend by Jon, Uncle Rico (of Napoleon Dynamite fame) is played by the same actor as Lazlo (of Real Genius fame). I'm not quite sure why this freaks me out, but I'm really taken by this revelation!



It's like some sort of parallel that brings the 80's and the 00's together...!

-El Capitan

Jessica is EVERYWHERE

Worth1000.com is running a Photoshop contest where users are asked to submit pictures of Jessica Simpson inserted into famous pictures or situations. Some are VERY well done, such as American Idiot, by the user digammo, shown below. Click on that image to go to the entire gallery:



-El Capitan

Genuine Imitation Leather

Ok, so it's not Genuine Imitation Leather, but it just seemed like such an appropriate title for this post.

For those of you who don't remember who Korey Stringer was, he was the Minnesota Vikings player who collapsed at a summer practice, and tragically died later that evening.

This eBayer is selling an "authentic" Korey Stringer "game worn" jersey. The reason for all the quotes? The jersey actually has the Korey Stringer MEMORIAL patch on the left shoulder. Observe:



Click the above image to go directly to the eBay auction.

Worse than this guy trying to pass off the jersey as legit? There are already 9 bids, with the highest at $200.00. Crazy...

-El Capitan

Your Mama

As found on GorillaMask.net, this is the video to Kennedy's song Your Mama. Check out the chorus:

Nobody loves you/
Like your Mama loves you/
But, who's lovin' your Mama?/
I am... I am.../

Now, click here to view the video. Make sure to listen to the lyrics:



Wrong on about 15 different levels, and yes, so right!

-El Capitan

What are YOU doing tonight?

I know what I'm doing!



That's right... As mentioned before on FluxW.com, Clerks will be playing on the BIG screen tonight at:

Sunrise Cinemas - Fountains
801 S. University Drive
Plantation, FL 33432

Maybe I'll see some of you there!

"I'm 37?!" - Dante, Clerks

-El Capitan

Oops! I did it again..!

See this girl? She's starting to cry. Why, you ask?

Because her DAD just walked in on her flashing the webcam!

Don't believe me? Click on her to check it out:


Obviously, Not Suitable For Work (NSFW)...

"I swear Daddy, I was just making sure the camera was working!"

-El Capitan

Walken For President - 2008

Thanks to BRR for pointing this one out...

I know where MY vote is going!

Click here to visit Walken2008.com:


Make sure you read the quotes at the top right of each page - they're hilarious, and they change with each page change!

-El Capitan

Look BEHIND you...!

This news reporter is on the scene to cover an event where people gather to watch people perform crazy stunts (i.e. jumping through flaming hoops, and the like).

Somehow, he ends up in the way of things:



-El Capitan

The Sean Juan Collection

I think I've mentioned Mind of Mencia before, but if not, here's a great opportunity...

On last weeks episode, Carlos Mencia introduced The Sean Juan Collection:



-El Capitan

Gobbles!

Somebody's got a good sense of humor:



-El Capitan

Busted...!

From SunSentinel.com:

LONDON -- Some people bring flowers, others bring balloons. When Melvyn Reed's three wives showed up to visit him at the hospital, they brought an unexpected curtain call to his years as a double bigamist.

Click here to read more:



-El Capitan

Failure

Have you ever tried to type the word "failure" into Google? Give it a try, and just take a look at what the first search result is...

Better yet, try typing it into the address bar of FireFox. This will actually take you directly to the same site!

Here's a link to the Google search results:


-El Capitan

Those Crazy Kids - Part Two

Here's part two of SomethingAwful.com's collection of adult themes in kids drawings (click here for part one). Here, of course, is my favorite:



-El Capitan

Things In Rubbers

No, unfortunately, we're not talking about a British raincoat.

Much like the guy from Stuff On My Cat, the folks at ThingsInRubbers.com places ordinary, everyday objects IN rubbers (a.k.a. condoms, "jimmy hats," love gloves, etc).

Click here to start your tour:



It was only a matter of time...

-El Capitan

Airborne Cats

Honestly - who doesn't love a flying cat?

Click here for an entire flickr Photoset of them:



-El Capitan

ICE Your Phone

Ok kiddies - it's time for today's Public Service Annoucement:

Medical and Paramedic authorities are recommending adding a new listing in your cell phone. Adding an ICE (In Case of Emergency) listing can easily assist medical crew in finding your next of kin or emergency contact if you need assistance. This actually started in England, and has gained a big following in Los Angeles, New York, and other metropolitan areas. Officials are strongly suggesting using this as a supplement to any additional information you may carry with you, and not in place of it.

I've already checked Snopes to make sure this was legit, and all looks good. In fact, click the image below, and view what Snopes has to say about this topic:



-El Capitan

I Don't Like You In That Way

In posting the horrible Britney pictures yesterday, I forgot to mention the killer site they came from.

IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com is just like TheSuperficial.com, but a little softer around the edges... Take some great pics, add quality links, and throw in some sarcastic wit. Mix it all together and drink in the fun!

Click here to enjoy:



-El Capitan

I'm waiting...

(Note: ALL participants have posted the Superbowl Suffle - click on their crossed-out names to see!)

... PATIENTLY!

For those of you who need to see this NOW, as opposed to waiting for Babylon, Tripp, and Jason's sites, click here to view The Super Bowl Shuffle:



-El Capitan