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You don't know The Code? Even God knows The Code!



I love this shirt... I need this shirt... Everybody needs this shirt... Anybody wants to get me one - I won't complain...

-El Capitan

Web Tards?

Don't kill the messenger - I'm not the one who created the title of this competition...

Gorilla Mask is running their 4th Annual "Web Tard Competition" this week. Give the trophy a rub below to be treated to past winners and current nominees - some of which you've seen here at FluxW.com (Best Buy Guy: "You Tha Man!") and others that you should have ("Boom Goes The Dymamite!"). A classic collection!



-El Capitan

Asshats!

I had to borrow my new favorite word from my new friend K, and her blog Fresh sKWeez'd, Daily. It was the only word I could use to describe the way I feel about two people who do NOT deserve to be on TV.

I'm sorry to rant, but I truly loathe Shepard Smith (Fox News) and Neil Everett (ESPN - SportsCenter). In fact, I actually think they're separated at birth, as they're both such similar pompous, boring, flaming asshats!

The reason for my rant? I got some great laughter this morning, when I came across this video:



Take that, Asshat!

And for those who want to re-live Shep's other fuck-up, please click below. This one is classic:



Ok, I've already spent WAY too much webspace on these clowns.

-El Capitan

Aicha

So, I was browsing the candidates for the Web Tard Competition from Gorilla Mask, and I came across this gem - the 2002 WINNER!

No matter how much you like a girl, don't EVER make a music video. Especially if the song sucks this bad:



-El Capitan

Kermit's Awakening

-El Capitan

Happy Birthday Google!

Happy 7th Birthday, Google!



Oh, the places you'll go...

-El Capitan

POP Station

This one is pretty funny...

If you're shopping on eBay, or anywhere else online for that matter, that you are purchasing a PSP, and not a POP Station... Here's why:



-El Capitan

Enter Sandman (+Venom!)

In the biggest "oops!" of the week, Kirsten Dunst, while doing promotions for the much anticipated (by me, at least) movie, Elizabethtown, revealed the two Spider-Man villains set for Spider-Man 3, due May 4, 2007. Ladies and gentlemen, please meet your villains:



(Topher Grace & Thomas Haden Church, respectively).

Click on either image above to read the original article.

And does anybody see a resurgence of the most over-played modern rock/metal song of the last 15 years (Enter Sandman)?

Scooped!

-El Capitan

"Fly, fatass, fly!"

Every once in a while, I just NEED to mark out for Kevin Smith:



Today, I mark out for him and his pimptastic store, Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash, where just about anything with a flat surface comes signed by the man, himself, and occasionally by his hetero life-mate...

"Fly, fatass, fly!"
-Jay (Jason Mewes), Mallrats

-El Capitan

Nugget's

So, Jon and I took a ride to the new Super Saver grocery store yesterday. Anybody who knows me knows my weird obsession with checking out new/strange grocery stores, in hopes of finding random goodness. My personal fave, when I can get there - Super Target (pronounced Tar-Jhay' of course...). They've got the best selection of random/strange foods that you just don't see at the regular grocery stores.

I digress. So we hit this Super Saver. Sad to say, but what a shithole.

The first thing that hit us was the smell. In Jon's words, it smelled like "wet boxes." We later found out why it smelled like wet boxes. This is what you call a no-frills store. They don't even work on the displays - they just open the boxes, and let loose. This is all fine and well until you get to the cheese section, and see all of the packages of Kraft "cheese food" displayed in the original boxes/cases in which they came, building mold and bacteria. Ewww....

For some reason, we continue walking the aisles. We start to notice that all the generic foods are not "Super Saver" brand, but "ACME" brand. FINALLY! We found out where Wile E. Coyote gets all his shit! This place must be great! Not quite...

Here's the real reason for the post, and my big question:

Based on the picture below (the only one I took in a place that should have been a treasure trove of blogging goodness), is it more disturbing that they've used the possessive for the word Nugget, spelling it Nugget's (to assume that the nuggets own whatever it is that they're selling) or that it took more than 2 minutes to figure out what type of nuggets they were?



-El Capitan

Why, Motorola? Why?!

Why do you torture me? Why do you toy with my emotions?

Sure enough, all too soon after I get my RAZR V3, Motorola goes ahead and announces the RAZR V3"x." What's the difference, you ask? Let Gizmodo tell you:



Moto Envy.

-El Capitan

Yum!

Mmmm... A1....



-El Capitan

"The Dude abides..."

This one goes out to you, Irish...

GIANT magazine recently celebrated The Big Lebowski, and the upcoming release of "The Achiever's Edition" of the DVD with a reunion of the cast members. Be sure to click below for some great memories:





-El Capitan

You can be Randy Moss!

I love Halloween! I can't wait every year to see what new candy will spike my blood sugar (thank you Take 5!), and what new freakish costume will hit the shelves.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

You, too, can be Randy Moss:




-El Capitan

Shitty Blogs

I hope to NEVER make this list. It is, however, great reading, and perfect for a laugh... I wonder why nobody thought of this sooner?

Enjoy:



-El Capitan

I.I.T.Y.W.Y.B.M.A.D.

I'll bet you're wondering, "What does I.I.T.Y.W.Y.B.M.A.D. stand for?"



If I tell you, will you buy me a drink?

This shirt could be fun...

-El Capitan

Type Like A Pirate

Ok, so I missed out on International Talk Like A Pirate Day, but I did it on purpose. I wanted to let Babylon, with his mild obsession for pirates, have that one... and he did handily...

But here I am now, with the all-in-one solution to TYPE like a pirate... Click to enlarge:





-El Capitan

Booster Shot

A friend (and kickball teammate) of mine recently wrote a great article for Slate.com about the current market of Energy drinks, and how to sort out the winners from the losers. Please be sure to check it out - it's a great read. Click below to head over there:



More to come later today!

-El Capitan

Shrinkage

No, I'm not talking about THAT shrinkage...

Normally, I try to limit my gaming posts, but this one was too funny.

EA Sports has just pulled the latest Madden '06 Roster Update from the systems due to a slight bug. I say "slight bug," because the roster update makes the Jets' Michael King a whopping 7-inches tall! When did the Jets sign Inch-High Private Eye?

Spot the green circle below to find the little fellow. While you're looking, click on the images to visit the page with hi-res, larger images:






-El Capitan

Word Verification

Thank you Blogger!

So far, I've been very lucky. I didn't get nailed by one of those robot "commenting" spam computers, like an unfortunate friend of mine. Here's my pre-emptive strike against Comment Spam Hell:




Click either of the above graphics to learn more about Word Verification.

I'm sorry for any inconvenience to any of you, but I want to keep the comments open and free, and this is the easiest way. Thanks for your patience.

-El Capitan

Wanna Fuckin' Winnebago?

I gotta tell ya, the extent of my Winnebago experience is limited to Spaceballs. I think this guy (who gave me a much needed laugh tonight) has the same experience:



-El Capitan

That's Bull Strip!

You've heard of the South African Stripping Bull, right? No? You haven't? Well, you haven't lived until you've seen the Stripping Bull in action:



OK, so there is no such thing as a South African Stripping Bull, but now you could imagine what it would be like. And THAT'S gold!

"Stay Gold, Ponyboy. Stay Gold."
-Johnny Cade (Ralph Macchio), The Outsiders

-El Capitan

Bad, Comcast. Bad!

Isn't Comcast nice? Accordign to TechDirt.com, the media-giant apparently sent around letters to certain customers telling them they had "great news!" Apparently Comcast was "simplifying [their] channel lineup... at no additional charge." Of course, by "simplifying," they really meant taking away channels you might watch and putting them in a more expensive premium package.

Click below to read more:



-El Capitan

Freshness, Guaranteed!

There comes a time in a man's life when he is ready for change. With that, please allow me to introduce you to FluxW, v2.0. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Here's an image if you want one last look at FluxW, v1.2:



A HUGE thank you goes out to David Babylon, and his excellent creative skills in bringing this together. It is greatly, greatly appreciated.

Word To Your Mom!

-El Capitan

Celebrations Abound!

Big weekend of celebration! It all started last night... Went out to Sofa Kings, and toasted BRR's upcoming (Sunday) birthday! Happy 4-0 buddy! While we were there, we fed BRR a few drinks.

Rule of thumb - don't let your friends feed you drinks - especially when equipped with a Sharpie:


I almost got the entire URL on his head before the marker died:


Then, I got a call from Jeffrey (Master Ei-El) this morning. After two years of dating, he finally proposed to his girlfriend (now fiancee) Robin this morning! My most heartfelt congratulations go out to the future Mr. and Mrs. Wrestling:


Last, but certainly not least, tonight I'm off to my friend Jared's engagement party. I've know Jared for about 14 years now - great guy, great friend, and funny as shit. My best wishes also go out to Jared and Jennifer:


-El Capitan

WoW Is A Feeling?

I gotta double-thank Babylon for this one, as he sent me the image below and the page to which it links.

Anybody who knows me knows how I feel about World of Warcraft (or as I playfully refer to it, Nerds of Warcrack, or NoW). That being said, apparently, I'm not the only one.

Pure Pwnage has gone ahead and produced a little verse-chorus-verse about the citizens of this online universe. World of Warcraft Is A Feeling is a romantic tune, in the vein of the song from Disney's Aladdin. Click on the vicious warrior (LOL!) below to see the video, and hear this hilarious gem:



-El Capitan

The New Nickel

Observe below the back of the NEW 2005 Nickel. Notice anything, umm, noticeable?



(This is the ACTUAL image from the U.S. Mint)

-El Capitan

Team Sleep

Ever have one of those days where you can just fall asleep anywhere? These people did:



-El Capitan

Spontaneous Combustion

Gotta love spontanaety.

So, after my bold prediction that yesterday was destined to be a good day (thank you Celebrity Jeopardy!), I actually DID have a good day.

Started with Jeopardy! Followed that with a trip to the office, where I was so busy that I didn't realize how quickly the day went. Yesssss! Followed that up with a crucial Kickball win (Save It For Thursday!), and the usual after party at Dicey Riley's Rock 'N Roll Bar (the kickball league's sponsor).

Sure enough, I'm walking up to Dicey's and walking past Revolution, where I know Less Than Jake is playing tonight. Thing is, it was supposed to he a 6:00, all-ages show. They weren't supposed to have an opening act. Thankfully, they did! Rock on!

Spontaneous concerts are awesome. I didn't even plan on hitting the show, but I am SO glad that I did. I haven't seen the guys in years, and they haven't lost a beat. Fucking amazing! Brought me right back to college.

Wanna know more about LTJ? Click here:



Damn fine day!

-El Capitan

Meet Meebo

I love new technology.

Meet Meebo. Meebo is an all-in-one Instant Messaging product that actually runs on a web page (much like AIM Express), without a stand alone product. Meebo incorporates AOL/AIM, ICQ, MSN, and Yahoo, with a rumored Google Talk addition coming soon. Click below to give it a shot:



If you want to know more about it, Meebo actually has a blog at blog.meebo.com.

Enjoy!

-El Capitan

Dubya Needs to Pee

This picture is actually a note being passed from Dubya to Condi... Click for more info:



-El Capitan

Do you speak Engrish?

It's so much fun to see when things just don't translate...

Welcome to Engrish.com What is Engrish? Here's your answer, directly from the Engrish.com site:

Q. What is Engrish?

A. Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design.

Click either of the images below to go:




LOL!

-El Capitan

Celebrity Jeopardy!

You know it's gonna be a good day when you wake up and find out that somebody (SmitHappens.com) has compiled the collected works of Celebrity Jeopardy! from Saturday Night Live - ALL 13 of them!

For those of you who don't remember these classic clips (and how could you possibly forget? Jerk!) Will Ferrell stars in each one as Alex Trebek, with a variety of "celebrities" joining him on the famous quiz show. Anything goes when Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond) is on. These clips have actually had me and my boys laughing out loud, crying.

My personal faves? Anal Bum Cover, Ape Tit, and The Rapists. You'll see...

Click below to relive the memories:



Classic!

-El Capitan

Anybody want a Doggy Bag?

Want your memories of your favorite four-legged friend to last a lifetime? Put your dog to work for you! Click below to check out Doggy Bags:



(Yes, folks, I know it's a parody...)

-El Capitan

Wouldn't Shock Me

-El Capitan

Karate = "Empty Hand"

In Japanese, the word "Karate" translates directly to "Empty Hand." I think this video embodies that definition completely!

File this one away with the Matrix Ping Pong...

Watch in amazement as this "Karate Master" breaks through bricks, boards, glass, and students(?):



-El Capitan

Fresh sKWeez'd, Daily!

Babylon turned me on to this one.

Please meet Fresh sKWeez'd, Daily - the daily adventures, observations, and random findings of a married mother of three:



-El Capitan

The Emo Song

Dear Diary,
Mood apathetic.

This shit is way too funny. The emo kids would probably riot and throw a fit - if they gave a shit about anything.

Click below, and check out The Emo Song:



-El Capitan

Bee Dogs

Came across this site, and started laughing hilariously. An ENTIRE site dedicated to people dressing their puppies up like bees.

Of course, I picked the picture from the front page, because, honestly, who doesn't like a dog, in a bee costume, that looks slightly retarded?

Enjoy:



-El Capitan

"Go fuck yourself."

Gotta love LIVE television... Here, a passerby has his opinion heard:

"Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney. Go fuck yourself."
-Passerby, to Vice President Dick Cheney

Click the image below to go to the location of the video. Once there, choose whether you want to watch it in Quicktime or Windows Media formats:



-El Capitan

Paul & Ron vs. Aries Spears

There's a classic rock station down here in Florida called BIG 105.9. It's safe to say that I'm a very regular listener, especially in the morning. The morning show on BIG is represented by Paul Castronovo and "Young" Ron Brewer.

Yesterday morning, I'm listening to Paul and "Young" Ron, and Aries Spears (from Mad TV) is on, trying to hype his show at the Miami Improv this weekend. This dude sounds like he just rolled out of bed, and clearly does NOT want to be there. Paul and "Young" Ron are trying to goad him along a little, just to bring forth a little bit of the funny, but Aries just isn't following along.

Keep in mind, Aries is known for his impressions and impersonations (especially on Mad TV).

Tired of being asked to do impressions, Aries decides it's time to leave, and head back to 99 JAMZ (a hip-hop station) where he feels he got a little more respect. He's out the door, and Paul and "Young" Ron begin to vent a little on their frustration with their reluctant guest.

Clicking on ANY of the images below will take you the audio of what ensued when Aries returned to the station, to face his detractors:

&

VS.



Remember: This aired LIVE!

-El Capitan

Origen?

You either love or hate viral marketing campaigns. I know one Babylonian who LOVES them...

Here's the latest... OrigenXBox360.com:



Find the clues...

BTW, "origen" is the Spanish word for "origin."

(You've been scooped!)

-El Capitan

What what you say...

This is just good comedy. Wonder what this anchor was thinking while doing this report:



-El Capitan

Yup!

Courtesy of my friend Jason, at PlanetOgo:



-El Capitan

Bike vs. Barricade

I feel like I'm watching MXC. To paraphrase Gorilla Mask, it's Bike vs. Barricade. Where does your money go?



-El Capitan

ROKR E1

Sure, the RAZR was a tough act to follow. Maybe one of these days, we'll see the PEBL on these shores. In the meantime, Apple and Motorola made a HUGE announcement today:




And when you're done there, click below to check out the badass ads for the ROKR E1, soon to hit a cathode ray tube near you:



-El Capitan

iPod nano

I need. I want. I gotta have!

Meet the iPod mini iPod nano. The all-flash, color screen, 4-Gig replacement for the iPod mini.

Must get one. NOW! Click below for more info:




-El Capitan

Whoops!

Need any more reasons why NOT to wear a cape while on the swings? Check it out:



-El Capitan

Legos

Did you ever play with Legos when you were a kid? Yeah, I called them Legos, too. Apparently, the Lego company doesn't like that very much. When typing Legos.com into the 'ol FireFox, I was a little surprised at what I saw. Click the image to go to the page:



I'll say it again: Legos!

-El Capitan

BBB: Coming Soon

-El Capitan

The Texas Tech "Bell Ringer"

This video was sent to me by my cousin, Geoff:

Imagine this... You just came to Texas Tech University as a freshman... You
get the opportunity to make it big time as the football teams "BELL RINGER"
during their games... Your whole family, all of your friends, and about
10-15 million ESPN viewers will see you on a Saturday telecast ringing the
team's bell....

But to your whole family, all of your friends, and about 10-15 million ESPN
viewers you DO NOT appear to be ringing the team's bell...



-El Capitan

The Idiot Rapper

"George Bush doesn't care about black people."
-Kanye West

First there was the Idiot Kicker (Mike Vanderjagt of the Indianapolis Colts). Now there's the Idiot Rapper.

Don't get me wrong - I'm certainly not a fan of Dubya in ANY way, shape, or form. I think the way he (Bush) responded, or lack thereof, to this terrible catastrophe in New Orleans is shameful.

Back to Kanye. They say there's no such thing as "bad publicity." I think this officially dispells that theory:



The true gem of this video isn't just Kanye's outburst, but Mike Myers' expression after it was said. Priceless.

-El Capitan

Landslide

I know I'm going to get a bunch of flak for even putting this picture up, but there's a reason for everything.

Paris went to "Camp Indian Trace" this weekend, while I was up visiting Dave & Gigi (view those pictures here). We call the vet "Camp Indian Trace" when she's boarding - she actually loves it there!

I digress. Every time she boards there, there's a mandatory bath the day of pickup. Unfortunately, while they did bathe her, they didn't brush her. Here's my question:

Is it me, or does my dog now bear a striking resemblance to Stevie Nicks?


(Click To Enlarge)

-El Capitan

West Sounds

Much like DJ Dangermouse's genius mash-up The Grey Album (a genius blend of The Beatles White Album and Jay-Z's Black Album), MC Lushlife has taken Kanye West's critically acclaimed College Dropout album (+ the track Diamonds from his new album, Late Registration) and mixed it together with The Beach Boys Pet Sounds - often regarded as one of the best albums ever.

Click on the album cover below to download it while you can, and hit the Grey Album cover to see why you this time may be short:





-El Capitan

It's Great To Be a Florida Gator!

"If you ain't a Gator, then you must be Gator bait!"
-Lawrence Wright

A friend sent me this video. If this doesn't get you pumped for the upcoming Gator Football season, NOTHING will.... GREAT video...! Check it out:



It's time to take back The Swamp!

-El Capitan

"Looting" or "Finding?"

Perception is an amazing thing. I actually did a science project on it back in high school. Award winning. I rule!

I digress. Courtesy of Yahoo! News and Gorilla Mask, below are two pictures of Katrina survivors, making their way through the wet part of town. Click on each to enlarge, and read the caption that goes along with each one:





Amazing, isn't it.....?

-El Capitan

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Just incase you forgot how it goes:



Actually, once you follow the link above, it'll take you to another link to the video for Bloodhound Gang's new song, Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo (yes, F.U.C.K. - haven't seen one of these since Van Halen used it in the 90's)... The song is pretty good, and the video is funny as hell...

Enjoy!

-El Capitan

I miss college...

It's times like this that I get to reminisce about my days as a