...for the rest of us...

It's that time again... Time to celebrate Festivus!

You don't know what Festivus is? Heathen!

Any fans of Seinfeld will remember the classic holiday celebrated by the Costanza family. For those who need a refresher, click below for all of the rules:




-El Capitan

'Tis The Season

Thanks to everyone who sent this along - most recently my cousin Matt...

Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, we are privy to any various amounts of Christmas lights throughout our neighborhoods. Most of us, however, don't get to see something this cool:



-El Capitan

Cat vs. Wall

I'm sure that back in the day I'd e-mailed this one more than humanly possible, but Gorilla Mask and EJB just gave me a refresher (and a much needed laugh - no, even better - a guffaw).

Cat vs. Wall. Who you got?



-El Capitan

Elephino...?

Ok - I've gone WAY too long without putting something up... Time to get back in action - at least until December 23...

One of my favorite jokes from when I was a kid:

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?"

Time to find out:


"Elephino!"

-El Capitan

Happy Turkey Day!!

I just wanted to wish everybody a healthy, happy Thanksgiving! Please send my best to all of your loved ones...

For some Thanksgiving laughs, check out Hoops and Yoyo below:



-El Capitan

It's Official!

"After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways."
-Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson

Any doubts this time? Click here:



-El Capitan

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!

Ok, so seeing as I'm in Chicago, I admittedly missed the newest episode of Family Guy this past Sunday (thank goodness for Comcast DVR!)... Thankfully, the web (more specifically, Gorilla Mask and GKKO.com) has enlightened me to one of the best "Fourth Wall" breakers yet:



I could have sworn that I once posted the original, but I can't seem to find it, so, here goes:



Damn,I needed that!

-El Capitan

Just West of Fun Bags Cove

I needed a good laugh to get me back into the spirit of posting, and this is it...

Travel to the luxurious island resort of... Little Dix Bay!

Click below to learn more about LDB:



Could be worse... Could be Big Bone Lick State Park, in Kentucky:



-El Capitan

Reunited, and it feels so good!

"What good would it be to kill you, if we're both dead, anyway."
-Sayid, LOST
What an amazing episode... And, like everybody else watching, you know I was (crediting Kevin Smith) "crying like a bitch with a skinned knee," when Rose and Bernard finally reunited (not to mention Jin and Sun)...

But that quote above... so many meanings... Any thoughts?

-El Capitan

Sooooo C-c-c-old...

32 degrees when we landed. 38 degrees now.

It's pretty damn cold here in Chicago - and I'm LOVING it!

Here's the first (very) small batch of pictures. Believe me - there's many more to come:



-El Capitan

Are you fucking kidding me?!

Ok, one was fun... It was a day off of work.
Two sucked - everything got destroyed.

Haven't we had enough?

Apparently not:



Ridiculous!

-El Capitan

My Kind Of Town

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.
-Dan Aykroyd & John Belushi, The Blues Brothers

That's right kiddies - heading back "home..." Only this time, it's gonna be a bit longer - nine days instead of three!

Flying up this morning (I'm actually posting courtesy of Fort Lauderdale/Hollywood International Airport's FREE WiFi), and more than likely heading straight to Portillo's.

Rehearsal dinner tonight. My cousin Ali's wedding tomorrow night (she found a really great guy!). Thanksgiving next week with the Chicago family. And, of course, all of the mischief that happens inbetween. Gonna be great! So excited to see everybody!

Fear not (not that ya'll would) - I WILL be posting along the way, including LOTS of pictures (SNOW!) and fun shit... Much easier to do this from a hotel than a cruise ship...

In the meantime, I leave you all with this bit of humor:



Click on the link above to see what happens when you gather five of the most recognizable voiceover guys in one limo... It's so strange to see the voices coming from the faces... and I think Pablo Francisco should have had at least a small role... Fun, nonetheless...

-El Capitan

A Jedi Fortune Awaits...

I recently got this fortune in a cookie from Pei Wei, the little brother restaurant of P.F. Chang's:


(Click To Enlarge)

That's some sage advice. I feel as if I've heard it before - TWICE!

Do fortunes get any better?

"Adventure... Excitement... A Jedi craves not these things..."
- Yoda, Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
AND
- Silent Bob (Kevin Smith), Mallrats

-El Capitan

Ginger Kids

It's been a while since I last watched South Park, and now I'm deeply regretting the time lost. Especially after seeing this clip, which LITERALLY had me rolling on the ground laughing (much like another friend of ours tends to do).

Here, Eric Cartman warns us of the danger that is/are Ginger Kids - children with light skin, red hair, and freckles:



-El Capitan

Monkeys are great co-hosts!

Ok, maybe not.

Still, you can't possibly watch a clip of a monkey on the news without laughing at least a little:



And, what would a monkey post be without refreshing all of our memories that there's safety in the world, now that Trunk Monkey is here:



-El Capitan

1-UP!

To quote Gorilla Mask directly:

Even better than the footage of this dipshit falling through the roof:
The brilliant sound effects that accompany the video clip.

I couldn't have put it any better myself. You NEED to watch this clip:



-El Capitan

Ali G... In Da House

Booyakasha!

Sacha Baron Cohen (or as all of you know him - Ali G), of Da Ali G Show, has done a series of commercials to promote TNT NBA Thursday. Bloody hilarious!

Click here to check out all three, in all their Windows Media splendor:



While you're at it, make sure to check out Da Ali G Show on HBO, and check him out in the movie High, Wide, and Handsome (a.k.a. Talladega Nights), a NASCAR movie, starring Will Ferrell (!), coming out next August, and from the same people who brought us Anchorman.

Click here for the first set of pictures from the set of High, Wide, and Handsome:



-El Capitan

The Special dEaD

There are so many things both wrong and right about this movie that I figured I'd let ya'll decide for yourselves. Here, check out the trailer:



The synopsis from the OFFICIAL website:
When a zombie plague infects Camp Special Dude, a dude ranch for the mentally handicapped, a ragtag band of campers and counselors struggles to survive the night.

I'm going to hell. At least I'll have good company!

-El Capitan

Yahoo! teams with Gawker Media

In a move that is sure to bolster Yahoo's presence with the online community (does it really need bolstering?), Yahoo has entered a distribution agreement Gawker Media and it's collection of websites.

Who is Gawker, you ask? Gawker runs some of your favorite sites below:









Should be very interesting to see how this pans out.

-El Capitan

Quote of the Day

From Variety.com:

"When Dick leaves, it will leave a hole in New Year's Eve, and I'm hoping we can fill it with Regis."
-Mike Darnell, Fox TV

Of course, he was referring to the casting of Regis Philbin to host Fox's New Year's Eve special, versus New Year's Rockin' Eve (formerly hosted by the ailing Dick Clark).

What did YOU think he was talking about? Perv!

Darnell went on to say Regis was "the perfect fit."

-El Capitan

Wanna buy a house?

Sure you do! I think if we all pool together our funds, we can get this puppy off the market in no time!

Oh, wait! It's Terrell Owens' house.

Nevermind.

Click here for the listing:



Oh, by the way... On behalf of Babylon, do you know anybody who is looking to buy or sell a home in the near future? ABP!

-El Capitan

Frank Drebbin Stewie Griffin

For those of you who missed LAST week's Family Guy, you MUST watch their parody of the opening to The Naked Gun. The episode, PTV, was probably the funniest episode I've ever seen. We laughed the entire way through!

Enjoy:



-El Capitan

Chocolatey, um... Goodness?

Ok, seriously. Do these REALLY look like chocolatey "swirlz" to you?


(Click to see the whole picture.)

Gross. I know...

-El Capitan

Sunday Night Football

This one is for Big Irish.

Pay close attention to this "authentic" dramatization (yes, I know that's an oxymoron!) of last night's game between the Steelers and the Browns:



-El Capitan

Versa

"You've got a tumor growing out of your ear!"

"Hey Lobot!"

No Mas, fuckers!

Sure, it's still just a concept. Sure, it's still about a year or two from production. But THIS is the future of Bluetooth headsets:



Once you click the link, make sure you click on the numbers 1 through 5 to see other images of the design. Beautiful!

Put me at the top of the list!

-El Capitan

You'll shoot poke your eye out!

After a major bummer of a day yesterday, I REALLY needed a good laugh this morning.

This definitely filled the job:



-El Capitan

Eddie Guerrero (1967-2005)

Much like Babylon, I grew up a wrestling fan.

One of my favorite memories growing up as a kid and teen was watching Championship Wrestling from Florida (NWA) on Saturday evenings. One tag team that always stuck in my mind was the partnership between "Beetlejuice"/"The Love Machine" Art Barr and his partner, Eddie Guerrero. The tragic loss of Barr in 1994 left Eddie to fend for himself. He succeeded.

Over the years, I've watch Eddie progress from one promotion to the other, dominating the scene in each company. ECW. WCW. WWE. The highlight of his career - last year's all-too-short heavyweight title run in the WWE. Even after he lost the title, he continued to entertain crowds. No matter how much he tried to make everybody hate his character, they loved him.

As I write this, Heaven is being honored by the reunion of one of the most talented tag teams ever, while we down here are losing a true class act - a dedicated family man (as Babylon and I can attest after a Tampa house show last year) and a tremendous performer (both on the mike and in the ring - one of the most talented I've even seen).

Rest In Peace, Eddie.



-El Capitan

LMAO!

Can't stop laughing!

Thanks to my good friend K, over at Fresh Skweez'd, Daily:


Click on the image to make me dance. I'm sure anybody who's seen me dance in person (which is a rare bunch) that this is far superior to any of the moves I can manage to muster up...

-El Capitan

Tommy Boy - Halo 2 Style

Classic! This is one of the reasons I miss Chris Farley...

"Oh my God! We're burning alive! I can't feel my legs!"
-Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley), Tommy Boy

Now imagine this scene (Tommy's first sales pitch, complete with car wreck and burning family) done in Halo 2...

Better yet, you don't have to imagine! Enjoy:



-El Capitan

One Of A Kind

"Oh F... Shit!"
-Tech TV Guy

I can't believe I've never posted this one before!

This guy is discussing (on TechTV) a very early-model phonograph record. The piece he's holding (rather shakily) is one-of-a-kind, and there's no other like it in the world.

No matter how many times I watch it, the result is still the same - laughing my ass off at this poor schmuck's misfortune. Please watch this one for a great laugh:



-El Capitan

Abandoned

What an amazing episode of LOST last night... I was starting to lose patience, after being gone for so long (there should NEVER be a three week hiatus in the middle of a good story arc). Last night's episode brought me right back...

First, the title - "Abandoned." It was so clear how this title fed into the show, as it was all about Shannon, and all the people who have abandoned her in her life (some intentionally, some not). Finally, she found the one guy (Sayid) who wouldn't abandon her, who loved her, and BOOM! A not-so-stray bullet from Ana Lucia's (actually, Sawyer's) gun, and it's all over for (almost) everybody's favorite island hottie.

The title works conversely as well, as it also tells the story of how the Tailies DIDN'T abandon Sawyer, but instead how they (more speficially Mr. Ecko) made extreme efforts to help get him back to the original survivors. Very powerful shit.

Everybody had their ideas and theories of who was going to be killed off last night. As Babylon will attest, we've been discussing the fact that it would be Shannon for months. Of course we hoped it wouldn't be, as there's just not enough good looking castaways these days, but alas, she's gone (or is she? I LOVE THIS SHOW!).

Did ANYBODY envision that her end would come at the hands of Ana Lucia?

On a side note, I was over-analyzing (as I tend to do with this show), and looking at the background image of the website for The Hanso Foundation. Click the image below to zoom in. Anybody else think that this is almost alien-like?



There's clearly a set of eyes there. Possibly a head and some arms? Hrm...

-El Capitan

Colleges in the Pop Culture Mix

There's a right way and a wrong way to show your support for today's pop culture.

Sure, everybody (well, almost everybody) loves The Family Guy and Napoleon Dynamite as much as I do, however I'm getting a little scared that they're about to Jump The Shark.

Here are a couple of examples:

Penn State seems to have it right...


...while Michigan State really screwed the pooch


Enjoy!

-El Capitan

Black Friday 2005

"I LOVE the smell of commerce in the morning!"
-Brodie Bruce, Mallrats

Anybody who knows me knows how giddy I get at the thought of Black Friday.

According to news sources, "Black Friday," as it's been called for many years, gained its name from the thought of how much black ink the cash registers would be pumping on the busiest shopping day of the year - the day after Thanksgiving.

I LOVE Black Friday. It is a day of waiting long hours, making new friends in line, and of course, the inevitible discounts. In fact, last year was the first time in seven years that I did not wake up at 3:30 AM, and go wait out front of the closest Best Buy (by 4:00 AM, of course).

The deals are amazing! Somewhere, somehow, you'll find CD's for a penny and computers for $9.95 (ok, not really, but that's the gist).

Unfortunately, for the second year in a row, I'm going to miss it, as I'll be in Chicago (although I did brave the Chicago cold - 40 degrees in t-shirt and shorts! - back in 2001, as I was up visiting the ex-in-laws). That doesn't mean you have to miss the fun! Click below to get a head start. At BF2005.com, you can see all of the ads (leaked!) before their official release:


Happy Hunting!

-El Capitan

Monster Mash

Now I've seen it all...

Bobby Brown AND Mike Tyson team up on Jimmy Kimmel Live to sing The Monster Mash.

This one is so good, I don't need to type anything else to make this one completely worthwhile. Check it out:



-El Capitan

Back to reality...

Maybe this post should have been called Reality Bites.

Actually, reality isn't all that bad. It's certainly much better now that I've got power back, and I get to sleep in my own bed (Saturday was like heaven - the first time in my own bed in two weeks).

Needless to say, my vacation was amazing. It was one big relaxing week, where I needn't worry about ANYTHING. Each night I was greeted by a spectacular 4-5 course meal (usually Filet Mignon), followed by an hour racking up dough at the craps table and the eventual trip to Skywalker's (yes, Skywalker's -the night club).

I NEEDED this getaway (not just due to the storm, although that was the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back"). I had a great roommate (my boy JKaye) who was kind enough to put up with my snoring ("I dunno what yer talkin' 'bout!"), and somehow, wasn't ready to kill me once the week was up (or at least not that I know of).

We didn't do much in each of the islands - we didn't really need to. Mostly strolling along the streets and chilling out. I even had time to read a book (Kevin Smith's genius Silent Bob Speaks). Mind you, I NEVER read books. This one's got me hooked!

Returned home Saturday to electricity (!), and immediately left my place to check out Chicken Little in 3D with Mr. & Mrs. Babylon. The movie was ok (it definitely needed some of the adult humor we've become accustomed to in movies like Shrek). The real gem was the new 3D technology. If you ever got a chance to see Captain EO while it was at EPCOT, it was similar glasses, only in Hi-Def. Fucking AMAZING! Definitely worth checking out if there's a theater near you (only 84 in the country).

Followed that up with a Sunday drive down to the 35th Annual South Florida International Auto Show with the Babylons, JaviDuche, TrippMD, and (as mentioned before) the non-blogging Elke. Great time at the show, as we got to see so many sharp concepts and new models. We followed that with a walk down to Lincoln Road (South Beach), and dinner at Sushi Samba. Needless to say, a good time was had by all, as evidenced in the pictures you can access by clicking on this one:

It's called the LIDO DECK!

-El Capitan

Worst. Job. EVER!

No matter how bad or mundane your job may be - this dude's got you nailed. BIG TIME.



-El Capitan

Vote or DIE!

Thanks to Jenn for this one...

You always end up with the best pictures in the weeks following Halloween...

For instance:


(Click To Enlarge)

-El Capitan

Pirates!

I can't tell you how many e-mails and IM's I've gotten with links to articles about the "pirates" off the coast of Somalia... Here's my take:

1. I feel safer than ever cruising - so long as I'm not on the east coast of Africa (known as the most dangerous part of the oceanic world).



2. Normally, I would bash the media for their coverage of such events. This is not one of those times. I'm extremely pleased that the media has chosen to use the word "pirates," and not "terrorists," as the former has got a much more pleasant connotation.

People think of Johnny Depp when they hear the word Pirates (personally, my mind shifts to Keira Knightley). They think Osama Bin Laden or Mohammed Atta when they hear the word Terrorists. Which would you choose?

In the meantime, here's a picture of the alleged "pirates." Click for the CNN article about the Sonic Boom weapon (very cool!) used to distract and send away said pirates:



And, of course, I would be remiss if I didn't include the keyboard they've been using to send their threatening messages:



-El Capitan

Uno Mas

I need to apologize in advance for this, but I'm gonna need just one more day to get back into the swing of things...

I'll be writing as soon as possible...

Until then...

-El Capitan

F The FCC

Thank goodness for DVD sales. Without them, we wouldn't have the current season of The Family Guy, or the clip below, to give us the deep belly laugh we so desperately needed:



-El Capitan

Only In Texas

Howdy, pardner(s)...

Yes, I'm back in SoFla, and heading back into the office this morning for the first time in two weeks... Should be interesting...

I'll be posting tonight all about my cruise, as well as my trip to the 35th Annual South Florida Auto Show with Mr. & Mrs. Babylon, TrippMD, JaviDuche, and the non-blogging Elke.

In the meantime, I leave you with this video to keep you giggling for a little while.

So THIS is how they catch robbers in Texas?



-El Capitan

Ouch!

Hello, kids... Greetings from the Atlantic Ocean, and more specifically, the Caribbean Sea. (Some of you may call it the Cari-BEE-an (like the Pirates, while others call it Cah-RIB-be-an (like Royal). Either way - you're right...)

I'm sorry for the lack of posting while I've been away, as the internet is slightly slow (I'm SO spoiled at home) and slightly expensive. Thus, this is only my third time logging in here.

I PROMISE that next week will be much more fun.

I hope everybody is well, and enjoying their newfound electricity and phone service. As well, I'm hoping everybody had a great Halloween, and that there was much trick-or-treating abound (unless you live in Plantation, where Halloween was postponed until December 18 - go figure!).

On that note, I'll leave ya'll with a few pictures from the trip so far... Here's one of my favorites (and the inspiration for the title of this post). Click on it to go to my gallery for this trip:



-El Capitan

Paradise...

Hello from St. Thomas!

I hope this post finds everybody well, and with their normal creature comforts (like power and water, of course)...

Having a blast so far - getting some much, MUCH needed R & R... Spent the day in St. Thomas, and we'll be in St. Maarten (freaky deaky Dutch, you know...) tomorrow...

Trying to upload pictures as fast as I can, but doesn;t look like I'll get them all in before the time runs up on my connection...

Will post some more when I buy more wireless time shortly...

-El Capitan