Jewbacca

Yet another huge thanks to Mrs. Babylon for finding this one...

Mr. Notable - you've been releived of your recent nickname, "The 40-Year Old Virgin." Henceforth, you've been blessed with a new nickname:

(Click image to see the originating webpage, DeezTeez.com)

And, of course, the description from their website:

"Jewbacca is a wookie that faced alot of anti-semitism growing up. That's bullshit! The Ewoks are bullshit! Everyone knows Chewbacca was Jewish, he speaks Yiddish."

That, alone, is worth its weight in gold!

-El Capitan

"Carry That Weight"

Normally, I'd pass this one off, just because it was brought to me by Spamburger, but this isn't one of those occasions. This one is pretty damn cool.

So there's this comedian, Chris Bliss. His stand-up act is pretty funny, however, he is also a world-renowned juggler. Loser, right? Nah... This guy took his act to a whole other level by COMPLETELY synchronizing it to the final medley on The Beatles' classic album, Abbey Road (comprising of "Golden Slumbers," "Carry That Weight," and "The End"). I'm a HUGE Beatles fan, so this is that much cooler to me...

Be sure to watch around the 2 1/2 minute mark, when things really start to pick up:

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."
-The Beatles, "The End"

-El Capitan

Makin' Patties

I severely doubt this one is a legit commercial, but it's hilarious nonetheless...

Ever wonder where Whopper Jrs. come from?


(Brought to us courtesy of Break.com)

That one goes out to Jon... Not the cow humping part! The BK part...! It's working "For," not "at!"

-El Capitan

Snow Tow

One last laugh for this morning... I've seen this one over and over again, all over the web, and thought it would find a fine home here...

Your car is stuck in the snow. What do you do? Call a tow truck? Nah, that would be too easy! Here - let's attach a rope to the back bumper, and let my buddy pull us out of danger with his truck. Oh, wait - STOP!



Brilliant!

-El Capitan

Need Glasses?

Another contribution - this time from Dr. O, of Planet Ogo fame, who just happens to be an Optometrist...!

I think we can all agree that the girl in this clip definitely needs to pay Dr. O a visit:



-El Capitan

My eyes! They bleed!

This little gem was donated to me twice - by Mrs. Babylon yesterday and by Bea months ago - a fine contribution, indeed...

Much like guns, there should be legally-imposed waiting periods and background checks on the purchase of camcorders, digicams, webcams, and, well, ANY camera that can capture video of any sort.

Why, do you ask, do I feel this way? Because otherwise, things like this happen:



Misery loves company! If I had to suffer, you have to suffer...

-El Capitan

Shotgun, BANG!

It's funny how we perceive people at times.

I, for one, have always perceived James Lipton, host of Bravo's Inside The Actor's Studio, as a stiff, droll, professor-like type. Then, he goes and shocks us all by making a couple of classic appearances on Late Night With Conan O'Brien. First, it was his version of Dub-T Kevin Federline's "PopoZao."

Now, he follows up that hilarious performance with his ode to spring break:



Yes, you saw that right. James Lipton just SHOTGUNNED a beer! Brilliant!

-El Capitan

M.W.A.

I know what you're thinkin'... It should be N.W.A., right?

No, no... This is Muppets With Attitudes!

Seriously - I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this one... Observe, as Elmo (yes, he of Sesame Street fame) launches into his version of N.W.A.'s classic, "Gangsta, Gangsta":



Classic! It's incredible how much he sounds like Ice Cube!

-El Capitan

Cork Soaking

You gotta love when SNL plays with foreign accents and familiar sounding words... Take the Cork Soaking skit from a couple of years ago for instance... Sure, it's a little on the long side, but it's totally worth a complete viewing!

Please - come along, and learn the ancient art of cork soaking. Half the fun is watching Janet Jackson fuck up her lines and fall apart laughing...! The other half? You'll just have to watch:

"And Grandma Carmella is still soaking cork at age 87..."

-El Capitan

Dance, sucka!

A FluxW.com / LBCapt.com EXCLUSIVE! (At least for now...)

So, my friend Michelle's cousin picks up her little cousin at the bus stop each day... Every time the music starts going, this crazy kid come up to the car, and starts going buck wild!

Lucky for you and me, they finally decided to bring a video camera:



Freakin' hilarious, although that move at the end is a little foretelling...

-El Capitan

Macarron Chacarron

"Macaroon? Chacarron? Hrmph eerroro ommoemrm jhdsauifn%sdf$dsf"
-El Mudo, Macarron Chacarron

What the hell did he just say?

This one was by request, but it was bound to hit FluxW.com / LBCapt.com eventually... The process was just expedited a little, and for that, a big thanks go out to Doc B.

So, the latest ear worm sweeping the nation is this song, Macarron Chacarron. The hook? This dude (El Mudo) is mumbling thoughout the whole song! That's right - I said MUMBLING! Apparently, nowadays you don't actually need to sing Reggaeton - you just need to make sounds. Very incoherent sounds. Check out the video:



Seriously! Is it me, or does the guy sound like Jodie Foster in Nell?

And no, he isn't deaf.

Huh? Come again? Don't talk with your mouth full!

-El Capitan

Must Love Jaws

The movie trailer Mash-Ups continue! And for this, we are thankful...

This time, Jaws is reimagined - as a goofy family movie, with romantic comedy undertones...



I gotta say - the quality on this one is higher than most that I've seen... VERY well done... Great use of music...

And damn funny, too!

-El Capitan

Break it down!

Never again will I bitch or moan that I've got not rhythm or dance skills. At least, not after seeing this guy:



U Can't Touch This!

We gotta fix him up with the girl in the post below!

-El Capitan

Bouncy? Not Bouncy...

I always love coming across clips like these...

Even better than this girl's first trick (which, by the way, is mighty impressive), is her second stunt:

The audience gives her 3 1/2 stars, Ed...

(We'll assume all of that "exercise" helped her sustain that fall...)

-El Capitan

"Cazzata Malanga!"

Those of us who waited (extremely) patiently for this past week's return of The Sopranos were graciously blessed with a full plate.

We were filled in on what had happened over the last year-plus (this episode takes place in present day Jersey, a year and a half - literally - after last season's ending). Tony is making Carmella happy. Carmella is glowing, living off the riches from whose source she so dreads. Adrianna is still dead (Damn!). Chris is sober again (Double damn! He's much more fun to watch loaded!). And poor Uncle Junior has almost completely lost it.

Check out this clip from VH1's Best Week Ever - now known as The Malanga Remix - which not only fills in anything I've missed, but shows the most crucial scene from this week's episode - over and over again, to a great beat... It's Uncle Junior's senility at it's best/worst:



By the way, as for the translation of Cazzata Malanga, read this bit from TVSquad.com:

So what does Cazzata Malanga mean? Cazzata translates (I was told) into "worthless" or "piece of garbage", definitely derogatory. Malanga, for those long term and keen-eared fans, you'll remember as being the guy that Junior wanted to whack all the way back in season 1. Junior wanted the deed done at Vesuvio's (Artie's place) and Tony didn't, which is what led to the fallout between uncle and nephew. To me, this is just to further the point that Junior is finally senile; he's not faking, he's not lying, he just actually is crazy.

-El Capitan

Kinder Jackass

That's kinder, as in -garten, not as in nicer/gentler.

As seen recently on Fresh sKWeez'd Daily (I figure with a few more plugs, I can work my way towards a leveraged buyout!), check out this compliation of Jackass-like stunts - performed by children. Young children. Really young children. You just gotta see it... It's perfect for a good laugh to start your Thursday:



Remember kids - Do NOT attempt these stunts at home! (Oh shit! Too late!)

-El Capitan

Peek-A-Boo!

Thanks again to Mrs. Babylon for this disgusting/hilarious little gem...

Eww... Fucking funny, but... Yuck!



You think this video is going to go one way, and then you realize that everything's gone horribly wrong... It's not what you thought at all!

Where did we go wrong? Oh yeah - it's the point where she sticks her head between the horse's hind legs...

Let that be a lesson to you!

-El Capitan

Bomb's Away!

How have I never posted this classic?

Keep an eye on the kid running along the bottom of the screen...

"Damn! You sank my battleshit!"
- Clarissa (Brooke D'Orsay), Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

-El Capitan

Speechless

Umm.... You'll just have to watch... (and then read below):



I'd be completely speechless, if I didn't have to beg the following question:

"Where the fuck did it go?!"

-El Capitan

Emo: Lost In Translation

Mrs. Babylon sent me this one a few weeks ago... I'm just glad I finally got around to posting it - it's bloody hilarious!

Ever wonder what the Emo kids are singing about? Love? Hate? Apathy? Dropping whores??

Well, you're right! On all counts! Check out this animated version of Fall Out Boy's first hit single, Sugar, We're Going Down - brought to us by Andrew Mathas - and learn all about the translation from Emo to English:



-El Capitan

Shrek? Titanic?

Forget the song mash-ups. They're so five minutes ago...
Forget the movie trailer mash-ups. They're already old school...
The latest trend: Movie Poster Mash-Ups!

These people are nothing, if not creative:


Click either of the images above to visit a whole library of movie poster mash-ups...

-El Capitan

More Censorship

I know, I know... I've already posted about Jimmy Kimmel's weekly segment, titled "This Week in Unncessary Censorship," but each week gets more and more $@#!ing funny...!

Here's a whole new block of clips that were censored - whether they needed it, or not:



-El Capitan

Ask A Ninja

Surely, by now, everybody's heard about Ask A Ninja, but for the uninformed, I feel compelled to spread the word...

First, and foremost, even for those in the know, this is news: Ask A Ninja has moved AND gone global! That's right folks. Your favorite Ninja and mine (ok, my third favorite - I've always been a big fan of Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow) has taken up residence at his new home here:



While there, you'll see that the Ninja has also gone multi-format, including everything from iPod compatible audio formats to a video Podcast being broadcast on iTunes here.

Get your ass over there! Do not pass "Go." Do not collect $200. Hilarity is sure to ensue!

-El Capitan

Slacker!

What kind of blogger doesn't update for a whole week? Slacker! (Oh, wait! That's me... Shit!)

K (she of Fresh sKWeez'd Daily) is right... She's off passing stones and cleaning poopie pants, yet she still has time to post, while I'm off letting my crazy schedule and DVR take over my blogging time...

Time for a remedy! Lots of updates to come tonight and tomorrow...!

In the meantime, I leave you with this fun little clip:



-El Capitan

World Wide Suicide!

As I mentioned earlier in the week, I am a HUGE Pearl Jam fan. This, my friends, is one of the reasons.

Today - one day earlier than announced - Pearl Jam released the first single off their upcoming self-titled album. Sure it's on the radio, but do you really want to sit by the speakerbox, waiting for the song to come on? Do you want instant gratification? Don't we all? Here's your solution!

For the next three days, you can download the new single, World Wide Suicide, for FREE on PearlJam.com! Click below to go directly to the download page:



Enjoy, and be prepared... The full album drops on May 2, 2006!

-El Capitan

A Scanner Darkly

Why do I have the strange feeling that this movie will SUCK? Oh yeah - it's because I like the trailer so damn much!

Click below to check it out - it really is cooler than anything I've seen recently:



And here's to hoping that the movie doesn't suck! Especially since it's brought to us by Richard Linklater (the man who inspired Kevin Smith with Slacker, and me with Dazed and Confused)...

-El Capitan

Buena Suerte

We're pullin' for ya, big guy...



... Here's hoping for a speedy recovery!

-El Capitan

"What you need, Natalie?"

(Note: The link is now WORKING!)

SNL is at it again with their Digital Shorts... This is, by far, the best one since Lazy Sunday...

When you think of Natalie Portman (a Harvard grad!), and more specifically her personality, what is your first impression? Sweet? Innocent? Down to Earth? Slightly hippie?

This will change EVERYTHING! Observe, as Chris Parnell interviews Natalie Portman about a day in the life of the Star Wars, Garden State, and V for Vendetta star:



I saw this on Sunday morning, and couldn't wait to put it up on the page... Thanks to Babylon for finding the video...

-El Capitan

Lightning... In a can!

Wasn't the world just waiting for...


... Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt energy drink?

Anybody dare to guess what "Asian Experience" flavor might taste like?

Yes, it's for real... Just click the image above to learn more...

May the "Steven Segal Facts" begin!

-El Capitan

Brokeback Parodies

Ok, so now that Brokeback Mountain has officially LOST the Best Picture race, I can see no better time to raise the spirits of those Brokeback fans than now. How do we do this? Show them just how many parodies of the movie trailer have been made, of course!

First, though, I'd like to show you my favorite of the bunch:


After you're done with Spongebob and Patrick, click this link below to see the entire list (36 as of today!):



-El Capitan

Obsession

Sure - we all have our obsessions and addictions...

I'll freely admit that I'm a HUGE mark for anything slapped with a View Askew label (including, but not limited to movies, books, and inaction figures), anything put out by Pearl Jam, or anything slipped into a DVD case (especially those marked "Collector's Edition," "Special Edition," or "Super-Duper Edition")...

That being said, NEVER have I ever gone to the lengths that these people have gone...

First, a video - the opening sequence to The Simpsons, performed by REAL LIVE actors:


After you're done there, click here, and check out a house built to the EXACT specifications of The Simpsons house:


I'm not sure whether to be impressed or scared...

-El Capitan