Live Together, Die Alone

Is there ANYTHING more exciting about tonight than this?



12 hours, 44 minutes to go...

-El Capitan

Substitutions Can Be A Bitch

Did anybody else watch the Dallas-San Antonio game the other night? Scratch that. Of course you did.

Did anybody else notice Avery Johnson (the Mavericks' head coach) accidentally abusing one of his players on a substitution? Please, indulge:

Knock, knock.
Who's There?
D.
D, who?
Deez Nuts!

And, somehow, they still won.

-El Capitan

Hey Jo...

So this famous guy (I'm not quite sure who he is) is invited on to a morning show in Australia. The hosts are excited to have him there, and even more excited when he asks if he can take a moment to address his girlfriend, Jo. (He's gonna propose, isn't he? I mean, really, who isn't a sucker for romance and surprise?)

Oh, wait... That's not what you're here to say? Wow! That's an entirely different message, altogether.

("That's an entirely different message.")



Half the fun, of course, is in the delivery of the message. But the real fun - actually more like 51% of the fun - is watching the hosts reactions, as they realize what they've just seen. They melted from joy to shock in a matter of seconds...

-El Capitan

The Cereal Killers

(Note: Video is now WORKING)

For those of you who haven't checked out Robot Chicken yet, it's a genius blend of claymation and stopmotion capture, abusing some of your favorite pop culture icons in the process... And who do we have to thank for all of this? Seth Green, of course...

(One small step for man... one giant leap for short people!)

Check out The Cereal Killers, for instance. You had no idea how your favorite cereal mascots spent their time off TV, did you? This will completely skew your view FOREVER:

"So I says: 'Forget about me blue diamonds. I'm worried about me blue balls, you whoo-ah!'"
-The Lucky Charms Leprechaun"

(And by "Whoo-Ah," of course I mean "Whore." But you already knew that, didn't you? Damn, you're smart... I just don't type Irish very well.)

Bloody hilarious! One of the funniest things I've seen in a VERY long time...

You can find the rest of Robot Chicken airing during Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming lineup.

-El Capitan

The Carlton!

Seriously - How can you NOT laugh at "The Carlton?"



Classic!

-El Capitan

Traffic Rap

So "Jenny," the traffic reporter for WXII (Channel 12 - Greensboro/Winston Salem, NC), was driving into work one day when the idea struck her like a bolt of lightning:

"Why don't I try something new? How can I reach out to the youngins' of The Tarheel State? Maybe if I *rap* the traffic report, it'll get through to them... I can save LIVES!"

Why didn't somebody stop her?

Word!

I'll give her an "A" for effort, but honestly - let's hope she doesn't quit her day job...

-El Capitan

The Shockmaster!

This is an inside one for the original FluxW crew:



Poor Fred! It gets funnier every time I see it!

-El Capitan

"Excuse me, he's blind!"

To pull a direct quote from GorillaMask, where I found this hilarious screw-up:

"Unless homosexuality is suddenly deemed a crippling disability, this news anchor will probably be granted a little "time off" after her on-air screwup."

Think before you speak, lady!

-El Capitan

The Evolution of Dance

First, please allow me to apologize for the lack of posts in the last couple of weeks. Between crazy schedules, work, LOST, trips out of town, and kickball (yes, kickball), FluxW.com/LBCapt.com has taken a back seat. I'm making every effort to catch up to my schedule, and get at least one or two good posts a day in...

Now, on to the goodness:

This one was sent to me by several people (yes, including Spammy and my mom).

How many dance crazes do you remember doing? Practicing day and night to get it just right... Rather, how many of these suckers will you admit to doing? Fun, nostalgic, and pretty damn funny, please enjoy comedian Judson Laipply's The Evolution of Dance:



-El Capitan

Average Homeboy

Meet Denny Blaze.

Denny isn't your average homeboy. He's made this demo video to show YOU his rapping skills. He's not from "urban areas," nor does he portray him self that way. He's just an average suburban kid, trying to "perfect his rapping skills."



Believe it or not, Denny's video has spread so wide that he will be performing LIVE on Jimmy Kimmel Live this coming Monday!

Finally, from Denny's OFFICIAL site:

10 things that may qualify YOU to be an Average Homeboy:

10. You don't write million dollar checks.
9. You don't live in a mansion or a box.
8. You have to cut the grass every week.
7. You don't have a butler or a maid.
6. Your exterminator is a can of raid.
5. You weren't born with a silver spoon.
4. You don't have a daddy who's a big tycoon.
3. You drive a Chevrolet.
2. You make your own bed and don't have a big head.
1. You eat Froot Loops before shooting hoops.

If you match up to this list, then...

For sure, YOU are an Average Homeboy!

Yes, it all rhymes... That's rappin' skills!

-El Capitan

Jack's Back

My cousin Geoff sent me this classic trailer remix...

Part Titanic. Part Catch Me If You Can. And yes, part Encino Man. Check out "Titanic: Two The Surface":



Personally, I think we would have been much better served with the title going around with this video: Titanic II: Jack Is Back

-El Capitan

Superstitious

Sports players around the world have certain superstitions and traditions that they adhere to before, during, and after every game.

Some players don't change their socks or underwear if they're on a winning streak. Some tap their shoes or clap their hands in a certain way, thinking it gives them certain abilities. Some just look up to the heavens, and ask God for help...

Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees (known by many of you as A-Rod), cleans his bat after just about every foul ball he hits. This particular occasion just happened to be caught on camera, at just the right angle to make it post-worthy:



I guess that's one way to "clean a bat..."

-El Capitan

How do you 'splode a Mac?

Much like my last round of heavy duty posts, let's start today off with a BANG!

This dude had an idea. He wanted to buy a new Apple G5 Mac. In order to do so, he needed to raise approximately $5,000. The best way to raise money? Offer to blow something up, of course!

So, he set out with the premise that if he earned the money (one quarter at a time), he'd blow up his old G4. The problem - he didn't really know how to get the job done... Here is his tale:



Normally, before the last few days, I'd probably use this little bit of video to demonstrate how I felt about all Apple computers (but not my precious iPod, of course). Instead, I'll used it to eat some crow.

Babylon has been hyping me on Apple computers for YEARS now. I'm finally giving in, and doing a whole bunch of research into the new MacBook. Affordable, thin, and light, this computer seems to have all the features I need in a laptop (wireless, DVD, widescreen, hi-res, fast, bluetooth). It certainly won't serve as a desktop replacement, but as a traveling companion (a.k.a. business expense). Any suggestions, good or bad?

-El Capitan

"Signs, signs..."

"...Everywhere are signs."
Signs, Five Man Electrical Band and/or Tesla

I took this one on the way home from the office... There's really no explanation necessary:


(Click To Enlarge)

And sent to me by Mr. Wrestling:


(Click To Enlarge)

You gotta wonder if they put thought into these...? Either way, we need to thank both the chuch and the trucking company for their help in making us laugh this morning...

Hopefully, this will serve as a sign of more FluxW.com/LBCapt.com goodness to come...!

-El Capitan

Fuck 8/18... Bring on 7/21!

Much like "30 is the new 20," July 21st is the NEW August 18. That's right folks - Clerks II got the big bump-up!

From SilentBobSpeaks.com:

"In a ballsy move that says 'Fuck you: we’re a five million dollar flick and we’re coming out in the fucking middle of the summer, bitches!,' Weinstein Co. has upped the Clerks II release date from August 18th to JULY 21st! The wait is now almost a month shorter, folks!"

I can't fucking wait!

-El Capitan

Holy Shit!

Don't fuck with ABC:



I guess that's what you get if you get arrested for drinkin' and drivin' in Hawaii...

The first one was a mild surprise... The second one - Shit!

Oh yeah - by the way - I called it!

-El Capitan

Whoa... The Price IS... 420!

Dude... Like... Check this out... This dude has wasted waited his whole life for this - or at least since his last Doobie...



Oh, to be back in college...

You really gotta love how the crowd gets into it... Classic!

Dude...

-El Capitan

Hangover

A night full of Zima and cigs can be hell... Just ask this cat:

"Party's over..."

-El Capitan

Lose weight with Ayd's

Do you remember when the world was a much simpler place? A time when certain things had a much different meaning than they do today? Remember when it was "hip" to lose weight with Ayd's?

I don't personally, but this commercial sure helps:



Yes, seriously... There was actually a diet supplement called Ayd's...

"Ayd's helped me get back into a size 12."

-El Capitan

Bang!

Hey gang... I'm sorry for the lack of posts lately... It's really just been a combination of being busy at the office, kickball picking back up, having the flu, and just general blasé.

Hopefully, this little batch of fun will bring me out of the funk, while filling your craving for comedy goodness...

Let's start this off with a bang:



Poor schmuck... I hope it wasn't his "shootin' hand!"

The thing is, we did the same stupid shit as kids - we were just much, much luckier!

-El Capitan