"37? In a row?"

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
-Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran), Clerks

I'm so FUCKING excited that I'm practically jumping out of my skin!

This story started about two weeks ago, when I read a bulletin on MySpace posted by Tate's Comics:

Attn: Kevin Smith Fans! Secret Clerks 2 screening June 26th!

"Holy shit! Seriously?! I gotta get in on this!"

They've only got 20 seats - 10 winners, plus one guest each. I immediately got on the horn to the only person I know who is as big a View Askew mark as I am - David Babylon.

"Dude! Go check out Tate's! We can win passes to see Clerks 2 almost a month before that magical July 21 date!"

So, he and I both entered, hoping and dreaming that our short little missives would be read by the powers-that-be, and grant these passes to such geeks fanboys. Our entries had to be in by June 22, with the drawing on June 23.

June 23 came and went - no dice. No response. No word. "No ticket." Damn! Apparently we really weren't "supposed to be there that day."

Then, driving to work on Friday morning, I get a call. It's the Babylon ringtone (Metal Gear Solid, for those who don't know)... Only this time, it's not Señor - it's Mrs. Babylon!

"What are you doing on Monday night?" she asked.

"Well, I'm watching RAW with your husband like I do EVERY Monday."

"No, you're not."

"I'm not?"

"No, you're going to the movies."

"I am? What am I going to see?"

"You're going to see Clerks 2!"

"Are you fucking serious?!?!?"

At this point I started shaking! Tiffany, without Babylon or me knowing, also made an entry into the Tate's Contest.

She won!


(Scan by Babylon - Click To Enlarge)

And, in a generous, thoughtful, typical "Tiffany" fashion, she awarded the tickets to the two biggest geeks she knows - her husband and me.

I'd like to take this moment to thank Tiffany so greatly for being so generous, and presenting us with this opportunity.

This brings us to tonight - and the screening! I can't fucking wait!



And don't think this means I'm not taking the day off on July 21 - you know I'll be at the first showing of the day!

Click here to read Babylon's story - equally as compelling!

"Adventure, excitement - a Jedi craves not these things..."

-El Capitan

Timing is everything...

It's true what they say - timing IS everything... Take, for instance, this ad for Hotels.com, along with the poorly placed news report immediately following it:



Yeah... That's gotta suck...

-El Capitan

Pretty, Pretty Dancing

An oldie, but a goodie... I needed this one today:

"You know what a panda has for lunch? Yeah - they have bamboo."

-El Capitan

"Tit Dirt!!!"

I know, I know... You have all missed Tourette's Guy terribly... Me too...

Well, here he is - in a BRAND NEW clip actually titled "Tit Dirt." This is seriously one of his best yet... (BOB SAGET!) I almost fell out of my chair after he realized that they needed to come up with that $36! Enjoy:



I hope this one stays up long enough for most of you to see it... Bloody Hilarious!

"That's not Mickey Mouse. That's just "TIT DIRT!!!"
-Tourette's Guy

-El Capitan

Mr. & Mrs. Wrestling

I'd just like to take a moment to congratulate the newly dubbed Mr. & Mrs. Wrestling - Jeff & Robin Rothberg.



As you can see from the (unfortunately short) video, they are so extremely happy - and the vibe spread throught the whole building. You couldn't help but smile when they were around...

It was an honor to be a part of their special day. I wouldn't have missed it for the "universe!"

All my best wishes for many years of health and happiness on your journey together.

Oh, and Robin is now notable by association!

-El Capitan

Spelling... Is... Tough!

In honor of the first-ever primetime airing of the 2006 Scripps National Spelling Bee tonight on ABC (and ABC-HD!), check out this clip. This little dude is under so much pressure that when he is asked to spell one of the more difficult words, well, just watch and see:



The only thing better in this clip than the kid passing out is the fact that he actually got up and spelled the word correctly!

-El Capitan

The 8-Minute Standing O

So, this past weekend, the little $27,000 flick that captured the hearts of everyone at Cannes and won the Palm d'Or, added a sequel to the View Askewniverse repertoire. Clerks II made it's worldwide debut at midnight on the second-to-last night of the Cannes Film Festival.

While the film didn't take home the Palm d'Or, the Grand Prix, or any of the other prestegious awards, it DID take something much more special: An 8-Minute Standing Ovation! Thankfully, the dilligent staff over at View Askew was there to capture the footage:



Gotta love the music!

I can't wait, as I think this will be SO much better than what some people are expecting... If this doesn't get you excited for July 21, I don't know what will...

"If things go right I might be showing her my O-face. You know: Oh. Ohhh."
- Drew (Greg Pitts), Office Space

-El Capitan

'Yes! Yes! In The Face!"

We've all let our emotions get the best of us in the past. If you haven't, make sure I'm not around when you explode...!

This VERY protective mother was not very thrilled with what someone was saying about her daughter, so she took matters into her own hands - literally:



BAM!

-El Capitan

"That's a HUGE Bitch!"

It's been a while since I posted a new T-shirt, and this one is destined to be classic:

"That's a HUGE bitch!"
- The Bailiff (Jason Wall), Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

-El Capitan