I can't skate...

...and that's perfectly alright with me!

I always wanted to learn how to skate or surf. I just thought they both looked so cool, and like so much fun. That being said, I don't think I've ever been so happy to have missed out on an opportunity - ever. Not after I saw poor Jake Brown.

What? You haven't heard all the rumblings over the past couple days about Jake Brown? Lemme pick you up to speed (be sure to check this one out before it gets pulled):

"Has anyone seen my shoes? I kicked them off in a fit of joy. I love getting struck by vehicles and sometimes I'll kick my shoes off in a fit of joy. I'm fine I'm just gonna go over here and puke shards of my own pelvis into this bush."
-Dane Cook

-El Capitan