I've got the good Doctor Ogo to thank for BOTH of the gloriouly awkward videos brought to you today.
First, we'll take a look at a quick little video from this morning's edition of The Early Show on CBS, during which Bryan Adams (you know - the Canadian Springsteen!) declares the TRUE meaning behind the song "Summer of '69." (Note: This one IS ad supported):
Repeat after me: "Awk-waaaard..."
Next, we visit a young Shawn Johnson (you know - the "other" Olympic Gold Medalist). She's got VERY strong feelings about Ortega brand Taco Sauce:
I'll admit it - I'm a Meatloaf fan. Both the food AND the singer. I know, I know... And while I could give you my grandmother's KILLER recipe for the former, today's post is sadly focused on the latter, so be ready...
Has anybody seen the new AT&T GoPhone ad? The one with Meatloaf, Tiffany, and some poor-lip-synching putz singing a warped version of "Paradise By The Dashboard Light?" Of course you have...
Wait - you haven't? Ok, well, here's the commercial-ready version (followed by the longer, more in-depth version - with added memory-ruining chunky bits - at the bottom of the post):
0:30 Version:
OK, here just a few of my MANY problems with this commercial:
It takes a song that brought back good memories and KILLS it for something not even remotely near what the original song was about.
Both Meatloaf AND Tiffany sold their souls for this one...
The kid TOTALLY lip-syncs his portion of the song - and does so very poorly, if I might say so myself...
I don't know - for some reason, this commercial just rubs me the WRONG way... Maybe something better will come along today...
And now for my Social Network Plug Of The Week - my new favorite online toy: Muxtape.com! Basically, it's an online repository, where you can upload up to twelve songs, and compile them into a mixtape to share with your friends. Each song begins streaming when you click on the title, and continues on to the next song when done... So simple, yet SO cool!
While you're there, check out my current Muxtape @ http://lbcapt.muxtape.com. I'll be keeping that up to date as frequently as possible (hopefully much better than my attempts on here!)
Now here it is, kids - the moment you've all been waiting for - the Full 1:30 Version of "Bastardized By The Go Phone Light":
What's even better? The fact that I felt like calling my celly a "Go Phone" all week - but for totally different reasons...
That's about it for now, kids... Have a very DIRTY week!
So today, I lead with one of the strangest bits I've seen on the show:
Now on to the ad game, and the one that's been sticking out in EVERYBODY'S minds (and vocabulary) lately (this one is SFW, although the tone may not indicate it). Here is the extended version:
Seriously - not a day goes by lately that I don't hear somebody referred to as a "Lint Licker" or a "Cootie Queen!"
I leave you today with what is probably the best (read: "funniest," NSFW) bit in this post (one that had me laughing harder the longer it went on) - a video brought to us by Sr. Mario J.:
"Who designed this fucking level?!"
Seriously - I'm crying!!
Until next time, true believers - Stay Dirty (and or Awkward)!
It takes something like this to get me back into the blogospheres...
(Let me preface this by saying that the videos below are worth EVERY second of your time - you WILL NOT laugh harder for quite some time - or at least the next 10 minutes.)
As I've blogged about before, Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon have had a little "feud," shall we say, going on over the years. Matt has been invited as a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live countless times over the past few years, only to be shuffled off stage as Jimmy conveniently "runs out of time..."
So a little while back, Jimmy's girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, presented Jimmy with a music video she had produced just for him, to let him in on a little something that had been going on in her personal life. Here's that video (as sent to me by Sammy, Ariel, Heather, my mom, and several others):
"She's f*cking Matt Damon!"
Fast forward to last night... Jimmy took the opportunity of a lifetime - his cushy post-Oscar telecast - to deliver a little revenge. And as we all know from the Klingon proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Here's Jimmy's video retaliation (fucking CLASSIC!):
"He's f*cking Ben Affleck!"
Seriously - that one is like a who's-who of A-listers, right? Like a We Are The World for Gen-Y!
Before I leave you with that, I've got a few other thoughts that have come across my scattered brain lately:
Did you know that there's a difference between a Lotion Dispenser and a Soap Dispenser?
Neither did I - until I had a strange visit to Bed, Bath, and Beyond recently. Part of decorating my new house has been the accessorizing of the bathrooms. I bought a nice looking (and still masculine) set for my bathroom, which included a dispenser that wouldn't dispense. Upon my attempt to exchange said dispenser for a working model, this tasty bit of knowledge was dropped on me. The solution offered by the store manager: "Just dilute it with some water - it'll work fine."
It does, but I still feel a little cheated with my watery-soapy-goo-dispenser...
Can anybody tell me the difference between Durmot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott? How about Taye Diggs and Tyson Beckford? And Jon's wondering how to tell the difference between Michael Madsen and Tom Sizemore... I'm just sayin...
I haven't plugged in my PC in over two months (in fact, it's still sitting in my trunk) - and I'm OK with that... LOVE my MacBook and my iMac...
Finally, a brilliant clip from this past Saturday Night Live (the first back from the strike), and an homage to Daniel Day Lewis' Oscar winner, There Will Be Blood:
Vixy.net is a web-based application that allows you to convert all Flash-based videos (i.e. YouTube, MySpace Video, etc.) into various offline usable formats (MPEG for Windows, Quicktime for Mac, mp4 for iPod or PSP, etc.). Another feature it has is the ability to just strip the audio and convert to mp3 (and we all know where that's usable).
So I was recently helping a friend on his hunt for an mp3 of the song "You're The Best," by Joe Esposito. Many of you would know this classic from The Karate Kid. As iTunes only allows this song to be purchased as part of the entire soundtrack (whole album) to The King of Kong (more on that here), I decided to get creative and look for a video with the song on YouTube (and subsequently convert it to mp3 via Vixy). In my search, I came across this gem:
I'll concur with the good Doctor Ogo (whom we can thank for this delicious bit of weird) when I say that I'm speechless (and we all know how rare that is!):
As some of you know, this week brought the latest addiction: Guitar Hero II.
This game is SO much fun... Essentially, you need to hold fret buttons while strumming a strum bar on a virtual guitar - and play notes to some of our favorite songs... Really - you gotta try it... Go to Best Buy... Now!
Here's where we get to the heart of the matter... This week's LBC Trax (Vol. 5!) is dedicated to my Top 10 Favorite Songs from the XBox version of Guitar Hero II:
Honestly - who's ears don't perk up at the opening notes of Journey's classic hit, Don't Stop Believin'?
Apparently singing along to the song makes the strangest of bedfellows (as evidenced in a somewhat recent episode of Family Guy). Here's a prime example:
Dallas Cowboys quarterback, Tony Romo, and Mr. Belding?
Yes, you read that right. Apparently, at a recent show by heavy metal/hair band throwback rockers Metal Skool in Cali, Romo and Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding, of Saved By The Bell fame) jumped on stage to join the band in a rousing rendition of the classic.
Still sound too weird to be true? Here's the video!
"Just a small town girl - livin' in a lonely world... She took the midnight train, goin' ANYwhere... Just a city boy - born and raised in south Detroit He took the midnight train, goin' ANYwhere..."
Here it is, kiddies... The apocalypse is upon us, and Hell has frozen over... Observe:
This pic, courtesy of Gizmodo, is actually from 2005, but Mr. Jobs and Mr. Gates will indeed reconvene - this time on stage, in a No-Holds-Barred session at the D5: All Things Digital Conference on May 30 Should be very interesting...
Sharp viewers out there will, no doubt, recognize this scene from Jean-Claude Van Damme's classic flick, Bloodsport. Check out this remix, in the tune of everybody's favorite commercial:
And don't forget Jean-Claude's American debut, in the break-dancin', rap-tastic classic, Breakin':
