Dear Diary...

It's been 2,003 days (yes, seriously) since my last cigarette... Sure, I could use one (especially today), but really - who'd want to break a streak like that??

Just dropping in to tell you all that I'm still alive... A few points of interest:

Irregardless means the same thing as regardless, although the former is not generally accepted... In fact, as I type this, spellcheck is reminding me that irregardless is, in fact, NOT a word, but Webster's disagrees... Likewise - as we learned from The Simpsons - inflammable means flammable.

1.31.08 - LOST has been moved up!!

Every Day Should Be Saturday!

The State is toying with my emotions...

For Jon: If somebody does a quick mood change, they are NOT doing a "Complete 360." A "Complete 180," maybe, but never a "Complete 360." A "Complete 360" would imply that they have not only changed their mood, but returned fully to their original mood in the same fell swoop, and thus would not even be worth mentioning in the first place...

My whole childhood was a lie. First, I had to come to the realization that my mother did NOT invent this trick:

Then, just the other day, I learned that Grenadine (you know that sweet red syrup you used as a kid to make a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers - the one that you now use as an adult in a Tequila Sunrise and various other potent potables) is NOT Cherry flavored. What flavor is it, you ask? It's the oh-so-trendy Pomegranate, and it has ALWAYS been! LIES!!

I digress...

Last week I made my Switch complete, and purchased my SECOND Mac - an iMac (24", 2.8 GHz Core 2 Extreme!). I don't ever remember being so happy with a computer decision! Five years ago, I wouldn't be caught dead speaking those words...
For reference:

Main Entry: moot
Function: adjective
Date: circa 1587

1: deprived of practical significance : made abstract or purely academic

Leaving for my annual cruise next Wednesday on the Emerald Princess. Can't wait!

Before Wednesday comes, however, Monday pays us a visit. There may be HUGE news on Monday... Stay tuned... :)

Enjoy your weekend!

-El Capitan

Ruh Roh...

Can you say... fucked?!



-El Capitan

F'n Ron Mexico

For those of you who don't know, about two years ago, Michael Vick allegedly had a torrid affair with a pretty young lady, and left her with "The Herp." The best part of the story - in his dalliance, he used the pseudonym "Ron Mexico." Where do people come up with these things?!

Anyways, herpes is the least of Vick's worries, and the least of what should be inflicted upon him after his latest scandal...

Again, for those who don't know, Michael Vick is making headlines for being charged with animal cruelty and running a dogfighting ring - sending Pit Bulls and other dogs into a ring to fight to the death, amongst other forms of torture.

If you ask me, it's absolutely nauseating, and if he is found guilty, I think he should be hit with the hardest penalties possible. Horrible!

Anyways, the backlash and parodies are starting to pour in, starting with local (to me, anyways) morning show Paul & Young Ron, from Big 105.9, sending their intern/assistant producer/bitch "Oh My God" Mike out into a field with only a dog-training suit, a bunch of meat, and a Michael Vick jersey... Here's what ensued:



Oh wait - it gets better!



This is "Vick's Chew Toy."

A company has cut through small amounts of red tape and verbiage to release what is now known as "Vick's Chew Toy." Formerly known as the "Vick Chew Toy," the doggie revenge device carried too similar a likeness to his Vickness and his Atlanta Falcons jersey, and had to be remodeled... Thus, it doesn't look exactly like Ron Mexico, but it gets the point across.

Paris should be expecting hers on or after September 7... :)

-El Capitan

T.J.-Who's Yo Mama?

Now's the time when things start to get good...

I'm entering my 8th year in a Fantasy Football league filled with 24 (!) players - most of whom I've either brought to the league, or become great friends with through the league... Today, we received our draft order (I'm stuck with 8th AGAIN) and our schedule (strategizing to take out B-Boy in Week 1!).

This, of course, got me reminiscing, and thinking about a commercial for NFL.com's Fantasy Football setup that forever changed Fantasy Draft Day:

"Championship!"

August 18th can't come soon enough!
(I feel like I said the exact same thing last year!)

-El Capitan

Morale Booster

I know I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I HATE Peyton Manning. I'm sure he's a good person, but between my love for Da Bears and The Gators, Peyton Manning is Enemy Number 1.

That's why it pains me to post yet another clip from his SNL hosting stint from a few weeks ago.

NBC ran the best of '06/'07 last night, this clip was among those repeated. I didn't realize how funny it was the first time I saw it, but after repeated viewings, it only gets funnier and funnier (especially watching Bill Hader, Kenan Thompson, and yes, Peyton Manning, fall apart into their towels in the background)

Check it out:


It's a little long, but trust me and try to watch the whole thing - it's bloody hilarious, and gets funnier and funnier as the clip goes on...

-LBC

F'n Petyon Manning

I'm not a big fan of Peyton Manning. Quite frankly, I loathe him. First, I had to deal with him in college, when he challenged my beloved Gators (albeit, never successfully). Then, he really fucked me over by earning this year's Super Bowl MVP while twisting the stake in my heart, as my Bears went home empty handed.

Fucking Peyton Manning.

That's why I'm so ashamed that I couldn't stop laughing at this skit from this past weekend's Saturday Night Live, where Peyton works with some kids from The United Way:

"I can't even look at you. You know what? Go sit in the Port-O-Let for 20 minutes. That's right - you stay in there."

"Why is the door open?! Close the door! Stay in there!"

I'll give credit where credit is due - the dude is funny. Or at least the writers from SNL stepped it up this week. Can't give him full credit. No way, no sir...

-El Capitan

Is that Journey? It is Journey...!

Honestly - who's ears don't perk up at the opening notes of Journey's classic hit, Don't Stop Believin'?

Apparently singing along to the song makes the strangest of bedfellows (as evidenced in a somewhat recent episode of Family Guy). Here's a prime example:

Dallas Cowboys quarterback, Tony Romo, and Mr. Belding?

Yes, you read that right. Apparently, at a recent show by heavy metal/hair band throwback rockers Metal Skool in Cali, Romo and Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding, of Saved By The Bell fame) jumped on stage to join the band in a rousing rendition of the classic.

Still sound too weird to be true? Here's the video!

"Just a small town girl - livin' in a lonely world...
She took the midnight train, goin' ANYwhere...
Just a city boy - born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train, goin' ANYwhere..."
-Journey

-El Capitan

The Aftermath

First things first, I'd like to thank all those who came out yesterday, and those who cheered on Da Bears from afar... I appreciate all the sentiments, pre- and post-game...

I hear Arizona is beautiful this time of year... Hopefully Da Bears will be there next year, after this year's heartbreaking loss to the Colts of Indianapolis.

In fact, Super Bowl XLII will take place at the University of Phoenix/Cardinals Stadium - home of the Gators' BCS National Championship win earlier this year...

Now, on to the fun: The Commercials...

First, my top 3 (not necessarily in this order):

Class Mencia:


Rock, Paper, Scissors (Maybe we should try this one at kickball?):


Fist Bumps Are Out:


And one bonus (Don't know how we missed this one last night?):

"Quick, staring contest! You win. you always do..."
- Will Ferrell (as Robert Goulet)

Good luck to everybody on recovering from their "Super Bowl Hangovers." Pictures will be up ASAP.

-El Capitan

Super Bowl XLI

Am I allowed to call it the Super Bowl?

I guess as long as I'm not making any money off the phrase, I won't have any problems with the NFL...

Today is the day! Today is the day I've been waiting for my whole life - Da Bears in Da Super Bowl, in Miami! Does it get any better? Only if I were actually going to the game... (Seriously - where are all of these people buying tickets for $2,500 - $4,500?)

Instead, I'm gonna spend the day with my best friends, cheering on Da Bears, and taking in Lou Malnati's Pizza and Vienna Beef Hot Dogs (shipped directly from Chicago). If I can't go to Da Bears, I'm bringing Chicago to me! :)

And to help celebrate Da Bears appearance in Super Bowl XLI, I've got a few celebrity predictions for you below... Please enjoy:

First, an original (Bob Swerski's Super Fans):


Next, my personal favorite (Bob Swerski's Super Fans - with Michael Jordan):


And, finally, a current perspective (Conan O'Brien):


And, finally, from the Manning family vaults:


Nice fucking Tango, Peyton...

Just over 8 hours to go...! I'll leave you with one last thought:

Bear Down, Chicago Bears.
Make every play, clear the way to victory!
Bear Down, Chicago Bears.
Put up a fight with a might so fearlessly!

We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation,
With your T formation.

Bear Down, Chicago Bears.
And let them know why you're wearing the crown.

You're the pride and joy,
of all Illinois.

Chicago Bears, Bear Down!

-El Capitan

Bear Down, Chicago Bears!!

CHICAGO – Fantasy and reality merged into one on a blissful and snowy Sunday afternoon at Soldier Field as the Bears advanced to the Super Bowl for the first time in 21 years with a pulsating 39-14 victory over the New Orleans Saints in the NFC Championship Game.
-ChicagoBears.com

Bear Down, Chicago Bears!!

-El Capitan

It's great... to be...

...a Florida Gator!

I know a couple of my friends may not approve of this graphic, but it has to be sent out into the wild:


Maybe next year?

-El Capitan

The Year Of The Gator

At 3 minutes until 12:00 AM on this, the 8th day of January, in the year 2007 - The Year Of The Gator - YOUR Florida Gators were crowned the 2007 NCAA Football National Champions.

In doing so, the Gators are the first team in NCAA history to have the reigning Football AND Basketball National Championship teams!

I gotta say it:

"It's great... to be... a FLORIDA GATOR!!"

Go Gators!!!

-El Capitan

Hail Saban! (and Riley, too!)

It's a good day to be a Miami-hating sports fan...



I LOVE it when the Dolphins get fucked...

That's right folks... Nick Saban is heading back to the SEC - to get his ass handed to him by the Gators...

Speaking of the Gators, please check out GatorMade:


Classic Gator T-Shirts: Made For Gators. Made By Gators. Here are some of their best designs:


As for Pat Riley - he's heading to the bench... giving up on his team once they're not doing as well as he hoped they would... I could have told you this would happen the day he stole the team from Stan Van Gundy (right when they started steamrolling their way to the NBA Championship)...

Today is a great day to be a Bears and Bulls fan...

-El Capitan

Glendale: Here We Come!

Two Bits!
Four Bits!
Six Bits!
A Dollar!
All for the Gators...
Stand up and holler!!!

In a move certain to cause controversy between me and a specific couple of friends (Blackie & BRR), the BCS Selection Committee tonight made the extremely wise choice to place the SEC Champions - your Florida Gators in the National Championship Game against the first-ranked Ohio State Buckeyes...

"It's well deserved, and I'm proud of it."
-Urban Meyer, Head Coach, Florida Gators

Honestly - who's afraid of a NUT?

At any rate, click here for all the gory details:


You guys know where I'll be January 8...

And while we're on the topic of college football, I saw this commercial the other day (for Nissan's Chase For The Heisman), and thought it was pretty bad ass:

Just about every college football mascot is represented...

Enjoy, and GO GATORS (Get Up And Go!!)

-El Capitan