Soooooooo, one of my kickballteammates spent this past weekend up in Louisville - more specifically at Churchill Downs, celebrating the Kentucky Derby. While camped out at Turn 3, he and a friend decided it would be a great idea to go hopping along the tops of the port-o-potties, racing all the way to the bitter end. For this, we thank them - otherwise we would not have this video to enjoy:
Nice one guys... Please don't die - we need you on the field!
So today, I lead with one of the strangest bits I've seen on the show:
Now on to the ad game, and the one that's been sticking out in EVERYBODY'S minds (and vocabulary) lately (this one is SFW, although the tone may not indicate it). Here is the extended version:
Seriously - not a day goes by lately that I don't hear somebody referred to as a "Lint Licker" or a "Cootie Queen!"
I leave you today with what is probably the best (read: "funniest," NSFW) bit in this post (one that had me laughing harder the longer it went on) - a video brought to us by Sr. Mario J.:
"Who designed this fucking level?!"
Seriously - I'm crying!!
Until next time, true believers - Stay Dirty (and or Awkward)!
It takes something like this to get me back into the blogospheres...
(Let me preface this by saying that the videos below are worth EVERY second of your time - you WILL NOT laugh harder for quite some time - or at least the next 10 minutes.)
As I've blogged about before, Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon have had a little "feud," shall we say, going on over the years. Matt has been invited as a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live countless times over the past few years, only to be shuffled off stage as Jimmy conveniently "runs out of time..."
So a little while back, Jimmy's girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, presented Jimmy with a music video she had produced just for him, to let him in on a little something that had been going on in her personal life. Here's that video (as sent to me by Sammy, Ariel, Heather, my mom, and several others):
"She's f*cking Matt Damon!"
Fast forward to last night... Jimmy took the opportunity of a lifetime - his cushy post-Oscar telecast - to deliver a little revenge. And as we all know from the Klingon proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Here's Jimmy's video retaliation (fucking CLASSIC!):
"He's f*cking Ben Affleck!"
Seriously - that one is like a who's-who of A-listers, right? Like a We Are The World for Gen-Y!
Before I leave you with that, I've got a few other thoughts that have come across my scattered brain lately:
Did you know that there's a difference between a Lotion Dispenser and a Soap Dispenser?
Neither did I - until I had a strange visit to Bed, Bath, and Beyond recently. Part of decorating my new house has been the accessorizing of the bathrooms. I bought a nice looking (and still masculine) set for my bathroom, which included a dispenser that wouldn't dispense. Upon my attempt to exchange said dispenser for a working model, this tasty bit of knowledge was dropped on me. The solution offered by the store manager: "Just dilute it with some water - it'll work fine."
It does, but I still feel a little cheated with my watery-soapy-goo-dispenser...
Can anybody tell me the difference between Durmot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott? How about Taye Diggs and Tyson Beckford? And Jon's wondering how to tell the difference between Michael Madsen and Tom Sizemore... I'm just sayin...
I haven't plugged in my PC in over two months (in fact, it's still sitting in my trunk) - and I'm OK with that... LOVE my MacBook and my iMac...
Finally, a brilliant clip from this past Saturday Night Live (the first back from the strike), and an homage to Daniel Day Lewis' Oscar winner, There Will Be Blood:
It's been 2,003 days (yes, seriously) since my last cigarette... Sure, I could use one (especially today), but really - who'd want to break a streak like that??
Just dropping in to tell you all that I'm still alive... A few points of interest:
Irregardless means the same thing as regardless, although the former is not generally accepted... In fact, as I type this, spellcheck is reminding me that irregardless is, in fact, NOT a word, but Webster's disagrees... Likewise - as we learned from The Simpsons - inflammable means flammable.
For Jon: If somebody does a quick mood change, they are NOT doing a "Complete 360." A "Complete 180," maybe, but never a "Complete 360." A "Complete 360" would imply that they have not only changed their mood, but returned fully to their original mood in the same fell swoop, and thus would not even be worth mentioning in the first place...
My whole childhood was a lie. First, I had to come to the realization that my mother did NOT invent this trick:
Then, just the other day, I learned that Grenadine (you know that sweet red syrup you used as a kid to make a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers - the one that you now use as an adult in a Tequila Sunrise and various other potent potables) is NOT Cherry flavored. What flavor is it, you ask? It's the oh-so-trendy Pomegranate, and it has ALWAYS been! LIES!!
I digress...
Last week I made my Switch complete, and purchased my SECOND Mac - an iMac (24", 2.8 GHz Core 2 Extreme!). I don't ever remember being so happy with a computer decision! Five years ago, I wouldn't be caught dead speaking those words... For reference:
Main Entry: moot Function: adjective Date: circa 1587
1: deprived of practical significance : made abstract or purely academic
I'm entering my 8th year in a Fantasy Football league filled with 24 (!) players - most of whom I've either brought to the league, or become great friends with through the league... Today, we received our draft order (I'm stuck with 8th AGAIN) and our schedule (strategizing to take out B-Boy in Week 1!).
This, of course, got me reminiscing, and thinking about a commercial for NFL.com's Fantasy Football setup that forever changed Fantasy Draft Day:
"Championship!"
August 18th can't come soon enough! (I feel like I said the exact same thing last year!)
Did you know that June was the first month since I started "A Day In The Life..." back in May, 2005 that I didn't post ANYTHING? Pretty shameful if you ask me...
This is just a quick blurb to let you all know that I'm alive and well, and having a great time...
I'll do my best to stop by more often, and get some fun up here to keep you all entertained the only way I know how, by finding some funny-ass shit...
To jump start things, how about "The worst bowler EVER?"
Hey Gang - Sorry for the delay... As most of you know, I was in Sin City last weekend with some of my kickballing teammates, losing all of my money (but having a KILLER time...). On top of things, I've been having trouble getting my iMix to publish through iTunes (they've finally fixed their problem). Thus, a LBC Trax was nary to be found. Here's makeup time:
As some of you know, this week brought the latest addiction: Guitar Hero II.
This game is SO much fun... Essentially, you need to hold fret buttons while strumming a strum bar on a virtual guitar - and play notes to some of our favorite songs... Really - you gotta try it... Go to Best Buy... Now!
Here's where we get to the heart of the matter... This week's LBC Trax (Vol. 5!) is dedicated to my Top 10 Favorite Songs from the XBox version of Guitar Hero II:
So I started using trig yesterday... Not a bad little site... Kristin nailed it perfectly - it's the best of MySpace (Social Networking, Music) and Digg (here, called "Trigs") combined - with a pretty sharp GUI, too...
At any rate, this morning, they made it Invite Only... I've got 100+ invitations left... Anybody wants one? You know where to find me...
First things first, I'd like to thank all those who came out yesterday, and those who cheered on Da Bears from afar... I appreciate all the sentiments, pre- and post-game...
I hear Arizona is beautiful this time of year... Hopefully Da Bears will be there next year, after this year's heartbreaking loss to the Colts of Indianapolis.
In fact, Super Bowl XLII will take place at the University of Phoenix/Cardinals Stadium - home of the Gators' BCS National Championship win earlier this year...
Now, on to the fun: The Commercials...
First, my top 3 (not necessarily in this order):
Class Mencia:
Rock, Paper, Scissors (Maybe we should try this one at kickball?):
Fist Bumps Are Out:
And one bonus (Don't know how we missed this one last night?):
"Quick, staring contest! You win. you always do..."
- Will Ferrell (as Robert Goulet)
Good luck to everybody on recovering from their "Super Bowl Hangovers." Pictures will be up ASAP.
I guess as long as I'm not making any money off the phrase, I won't have any problems with the NFL...
Today is the day! Today is the day I've been waiting for my whole life - Da Bears in Da Super Bowl, in Miami! Does it get any better? Only if I were actually going to the game... (Seriously - where are all of these people buying tickets for $2,500 - $4,500?)
Instead, I'm gonna spend the day with my best friends, cheering on Da Bears, and taking in Lou Malnati's Pizza and Vienna Beef Hot Dogs (shipped directly from Chicago). If I can't go to Da Bears, I'm bringing Chicago to me! :)
And to help celebrate Da Bears appearance in Super Bowl XLI, I've got a few celebrity predictions for you below... Please enjoy:
First, an original (Bob Swerski's Super Fans):
Next, my personal favorite (Bob Swerski's Super Fans - with Michael Jordan):
And, finally, a current perspective (Conan O'Brien):
And, finally, from the Manning family vaults:
Nice fucking Tango, Peyton...
Just over 8 hours to go...! I'll leave you with one last thought:
Bear Down, Chicago Bears. Make every play, clear the way to victory! Bear Down, Chicago Bears. Put up a fight with a might so fearlessly!
We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation, With your T formation.
Bear Down, Chicago Bears. And let them know why you're wearing the crown.
Scratch that... Huge, HUGE weekend ahead... Good times abound, indeed...
First, we start with Friday. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I will be working the complete day tomorrow. Mind you, as soon as 5:00 hits, I'm out... I'm stopping home to feed the child (a.k.a. Paris), and then I'm off with the Babylons (and anybody willing to join us) to see Clerks 2AGAIN!
After the movie, I'll be heading to the usual Friday night destination, however, this time with a different agenda... Sunday is JKaye's birthday, and we'll be celebrating tomorrow night - big time! Anybody who wants to join us is MORE than welcome...
Next, I must wake up VERY early on Saturday morning, but it's for a good reason. Yours Truly is competing in the WAKA World Kickball Championship, right here in Miami!
That's right! If all goes as planned, by Monday, you may be reading the musings of a World Champion... I always wanted to be a World Champ at something! Here's a little blurb about our team in the Official Program from the tourney:
(Click to Enlarge)
Yes, "High Socks." Long story. Let's concentrate on the important part here:
8th Seed!
Much better than we expected!
To read the whole program, and get all the details, click here:
(It's a PDF file, so you'll need Adobe Acrobat or Apple Preview to open it...)
I hope many of you can make it down to Bicentennial Park in Miami to cheer on good 'ol UVL! We're in Game 1, on Field #1, which should start somewhere around 10:00 AM (So damn early! I know!)
That should last all day and night Saturday, and then we move to Sunday...
Sunday, I get to relax, and then help JKaye celebrate his real birthday, although on a much more subdued level...
All in all, I can't fucking wait! Like I said before: "Good times ahead, indeed..."
I just wanted to take a moment and address the lack of posts lately...
To be quite honest, with several things going on in my life, I've just been in the middle of a motivational/writer's funk... I am working on some new stuff to put up - and not all videos...
In recent times, I drifted away from my original reason for creating FluxW/LBCapt by just posting videos each day... Sure - the videos will continue, as one of my main goals is to keep you all laughing. The problem is, I've lost focus, and haven't been able to add anything PERSONAL to the site, and that's not good...
I've got a couple of videos ready to post in the next day or so, along with some heavier, more personal posts getting ready to go up...
In fact, to keep you occupied for a while, check out this image from LoveFilm.com:
There are 100 movie references in this picture. (An example would be the two saws in the middle of the screen - hence, Saw and Saw 2.) How many can you find? I'll be posting a link to the answer key later...
There will be more FluxW/LBCapt goodness SOON... Thank you for your patience in the meantime...
I'm so FUCKING excited that I'm practically jumping out of my skin!
This story started about two weeks ago, when I read a bulletin on MySpace posted by Tate's Comics:
Attn: Kevin Smith Fans! Secret Clerks 2 screening June 26th!
"Holy shit! Seriously?! I gotta get in on this!"
They've only got 20 seats - 10 winners, plus one guest each. I immediately got on the horn to the only person I know who is as big a View Askew mark as I am - David Babylon.
"Dude! Go check out Tate's! We can win passes to see Clerks 2 almost a month before that magical July 21 date!"
So, he and I both entered, hoping and dreaming that our short little missives would be read by the powers-that-be, and grant these passes to such geeks fanboys. Our entries had to be in by June 22, with the drawing on June 23.
June 23 came and went - no dice. No response. No word. "No ticket." Damn! Apparently we really weren't "supposed to be there that day."
Then, driving to work on Friday morning, I get a call. It's the Babylon ringtone (Metal Gear Solid, for those who don't know)... Only this time, it's not Señor - it's Mrs. Babylon!
"What are you doing on Monday night?" she asked.
"Well, I'm watching RAW with your husband like I do EVERY Monday."
"No, you're not."
"I'm not?"
"No, you're going to the movies."
"I am? What am I going to see?"
"You're going to see Clerks 2!"
"Are you fucking serious?!?!?"
At this point I started shaking! Tiffany, without Babylon or me knowing, also made an entry into the Tate's Contest.
I'd just like to take a moment to congratulate the newly dubbed Mr. & Mrs. Wrestling - Jeff & Robin Rothberg.
As you can see from the (unfortunately short) video, they are so extremely happy - and the vibe spread throught the whole building. You couldn't help but smile when they were around...
It was an honor to be a part of their special day. I wouldn't have missed it for the "universe!"
All my best wishes for many years of health and happiness on your journey together.
