In on the joke...

Talk about somebody who not only "gets it," but joins in on it, too:

(Yes, that's DURING this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Parade!)
Simply AWESOME!

Happy Gobble Gobble, everybody!

-El Capitan

Nobody Fucks With John McCain!

Thanks to BRR for sending this one along...

I think I just fell in love with Hayden Panettiere...!

"He's just like George Bush, except older, and with a worse temper..."

F'n AWESOME!! But, wait! It doesn't end there!

Oh, and there's one more...

L-O-V-E...! (It's ok - she's legal... I can say it...!)

-El Capitán

Have You Heard? About the Bird?

If this isn't the Second Coming of a Rick Roll, I don't know what is:

and, the absolute best part of the episiode:

EVERYBODY knows that the Bird is the Word!

- El Capitán

Simply Awesome...!

Super Mario Rescues The Princess

Just one of the bits Seth MacFarlane has worked up for his new page over at YouTube. You can spy the rest of Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy here.

- El Capitán

Awk-waaaard...

I've got the good Doctor Ogo to thank for BOTH of the gloriouly awkward videos brought to you today.

First, we'll take a look at a quick little video from this morning's edition of The Early Show on CBS, during which Bryan Adams (you know - the Canadian Springsteen!) declares the TRUE meaning behind the song "Summer of '69." (Note: This one IS ad supported):

Repeat after me: "Awk-waaaard..."

Next, we visit a young Shawn Johnson (you know - the "other" Olympic Gold Medalist). She's got VERY strong feelings about Ortega brand Taco Sauce:

Once again: "Awk-"

Eh, you know the rest...

-El Capitán

(Sesame) Street Cred

I'll tell you what - lately, there seems to be a growing trend of using Jim Henson's furry little friends in as many viral videos as possible. And frankly, they're pretty fucking hilarious...! Here's the best of the bunch (be sure to watch ALL three!):

JKL's Unnecessary Censorship - Sesame Street Edition

(Thanks to Tommy for that one...)

Bert & Ernie Gain Street Cred


and finally...

Hilarious Muppets Bloopers

Bwah-ha-Ha-hahaha-HAHA-ha!!!!!

The air is sweet, indeed!

-El Capitán

Halftime Inspiration...!

No matter how much I loathe Peyton Manning (as a player, not as a person), this is absolutely one of the funniest clips I've seen on SNL... EVER!


-El Capitán

Haikus

From Threadless:


-El Capitan

I.F.H. Mondays

"Uh oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays..."
-Jennifer Jane Emerson (Female Temp), Office Space

In keeping with my Twitter post of last week, I am NOT a fan of returning to the weekly routine, let alone after a long, sick weekend...

That being said, my new friend Jess, sent this one along to let me know I'm not alone (and make me laugh my ass off). Enjoy:

Happy Monday, gang...

-El Capitán

Let's Make A Porno!

Seriously - you could put Kevin Smith's name on a box of shit and fire ants - I'd still start a countdown to the opening...

Behold, the teaser for his latest, Zack & Miri Make A Porno:

While this one is only a teaser (not to be confused with a trailer - there's a difference, per Mr. Smith), I still can't wait for October 31!

-El Capitán

The REAL Kentucky Derby

Soooooooo, one of my kickball teammates spent this past weekend up in Louisville - more specifically at Churchill Downs, celebrating the Kentucky Derby. While camped out at Turn 3, he and a friend decided it would be a great idea to go hopping along the tops of the port-o-potties, racing all the way to the bitter end. For this, we thank them - otherwise we would not have this video to enjoy:

Nice one guys... Please don't die - we need you on the field!

-El Capitán

Adam's 'Secret'

As good as the post below gets, it's still not nearly as good as Adam Sandler's Secret (from his 5th album, Shh... Don't Tell..., which somehow slipped under my radar all the way back on June 13, 2004):

Here's the hi-res version (in Quicktime Format): Secret

I'm speechless... (I know, it's rare...)

- El Capitán

Dos Palabras

I've got two words for ya (and they aren't 'Suck It'):

Zombie Strippers!

Really - does it get any better? Oh, it does...

Jenna Jameson AND Robert Englund!!

Better than that?? There's a trailer!

Madame Blavatski: But - but, what about the girls, huh? They're good girls...
Jessy: They're zombies...
Madame Blavatski: No! They're strippers...!
Lillith: They're Zombie Strippers!

You just can't make this stuff up! For more, visit the official site (yes, this is a Sony Pictures film!).

Where can I get in line??

- El Capitán

I Sit On You, Lint Licker!

From the phenomenally hilarious to the udderly strange...

Babs and Mr. A-OK (Ryan) may not know it, but they had the recent chance to get me hooked on a new guilty pleasure, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! This show is just too strange for words, with various short skits featuring animation and live action stars (including John C. Reilly, David Cross, Bob Odenkirk, and Will Forte).

So today, I lead with one of the strangest bits I've seen on the show:

Now on to the ad game, and the one that's been sticking out in EVERYBODY'S minds (and vocabulary) lately (this one is SFW, although the tone may not indicate it). Here is the extended version:

Seriously - not a day goes by lately that I don't hear somebody referred to as a "Lint Licker" or a "Cootie Queen!"

I leave you today with what is probably the best (read: "funniest," NSFW) bit in this post (one that had me laughing harder the longer it went on) - a video brought to us by Sr. Mario J.:

"Who designed this fucking level?!"

Seriously - I'm crying!!

Until next time, true believers - Stay Dirty (and or Awkward)!

-El Capitán

Revenge, Soap, and Milkshakes

It takes something like this to get me back into the blogospheres...

(Let me preface this by saying that the videos below are worth EVERY second of your time - you WILL NOT laugh harder for quite some time - or at least the next 10 minutes.)

As I've blogged about before, Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon have had a little "feud," shall we say, going on over the years. Matt has been invited as a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live countless times over the past few years, only to be shuffled off stage as Jimmy conveniently "runs out of time..."

So a little while back, Jimmy's girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, presented Jimmy with a music video she had produced just for him, to let him in on a little something that had been going on in her personal life. Here's that video (as sent to me by Sammy, Ariel, Heather, my mom, and several others):

"She's f*cking Matt Damon!"

Fast forward to last night... Jimmy took the opportunity of a lifetime - his cushy post-Oscar telecast - to deliver a little revenge. And as we all know from the Klingon proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Here's Jimmy's video retaliation (fucking CLASSIC!):

"He's f*cking Ben Affleck!"

Seriously - that one is like a who's-who of A-listers, right? Like a We Are The World for Gen-Y!

Before I leave you with that, I've got a few other thoughts that have come across my scattered brain lately:

Did you know that there's a difference between a Lotion Dispenser and a Soap Dispenser?

Neither did I - until I had a strange visit to Bed, Bath, and Beyond recently. Part of decorating my new house has been the accessorizing of the bathrooms. I bought a nice looking (and still masculine) set for my bathroom, which included a dispenser that wouldn't dispense. Upon my attempt to exchange said dispenser for a working model, this tasty bit of knowledge was dropped on me. The solution offered by the store manager: "Just dilute it with some water - it'll work fine."

It does, but I still feel a little cheated with my watery-soapy-goo-dispenser...

Can anybody tell me the difference between Durmot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott?
How about Taye Diggs and Tyson Beckford?
And Jon's wondering how to tell the difference between Michael Madsen and Tom Sizemore...
I'm just sayin...

I haven't plugged in my PC in over two months (in fact, it's still sitting in my trunk) - and I'm OK with that... LOVE my MacBook and my iMac...

I'm SO happy to have LOST back!

Finally, a brilliant clip from this past Saturday Night Live (the first back from the strike), and an homage to Daniel Day Lewis' Oscar winner, There Will Be Blood:

"I drink YOUR MILKSHAKE!"

Thanks for your patience... I'll be back much sooner next time!

-El Capitán

Dear Diary...

It's been 2,003 days (yes, seriously) since my last cigarette... Sure, I could use one (especially today), but really - who'd want to break a streak like that??

Just dropping in to tell you all that I'm still alive... A few points of interest:

Irregardless means the same thing as regardless, although the former is not generally accepted... In fact, as I type this, spellcheck is reminding me that irregardless is, in fact, NOT a word, but Webster's disagrees... Likewise - as we learned from The Simpsons - inflammable means flammable.

1.31.08 - LOST has been moved up!!

Every Day Should Be Saturday!

The State is toying with my emotions...

For Jon: If somebody does a quick mood change, they are NOT doing a "Complete 360." A "Complete 180," maybe, but never a "Complete 360." A "Complete 360" would imply that they have not only changed their mood, but returned fully to their original mood in the same fell swoop, and thus would not even be worth mentioning in the first place...

My whole childhood was a lie. First, I had to come to the realization that my mother did NOT invent this trick:

Then, just the other day, I learned that Grenadine (you know that sweet red syrup you used as a kid to make a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers - the one that you now use as an adult in a Tequila Sunrise and various other potent potables) is NOT Cherry flavored. What flavor is it, you ask? It's the oh-so-trendy Pomegranate, and it has ALWAYS been! LIES!!

I digress...

Last week I made my Switch complete, and purchased my SECOND Mac - an iMac (24", 2.8 GHz Core 2 Extreme!). I don't ever remember being so happy with a computer decision! Five years ago, I wouldn't be caught dead speaking those words...
For reference:

Main Entry: moot
Function: adjective
Date: circa 1587

1: deprived of practical significance : made abstract or purely academic

Leaving for my annual cruise next Wednesday on the Emerald Princess. Can't wait!

Before Wednesday comes, however, Monday pays us a visit. There may be HUGE news on Monday... Stay tuned... :)

Enjoy your weekend!

-El Capitan

Groundhog Day

No, I'm not making reference to the classic (and hilarious) Bill Murray movie about getting a second (or third, or fourth, or fifteenth chance to do your life over), although any post would be lucky to have such a topic.

No, instead, I'm referring to the date of Groundhog Day - February 2. February 2, 2008 to be exact. It can't come fast enough.

That my friends, is the tentative date for the LOST Season 4 premiere!

Need a fix in the meantime? Well, you've got a few choices.

First up - the official LOST site @ ABC.com. What's there, you ask? A great NEW video - the Orchid Station Orientation. This one just begins to delve into a little bit of time shift!!

Need more? For the 13 weeks prior to the start of the season, ABC is treating us to Mobisodes - both on cellphones and on a sub-site at ABC.com. Known as the Missing Pieces, these little clips fill in some blanks that we may not have thought about before - just whetting the appetite that much more... (Mobisodes 1 and 2 are up now, 3 is coming Monday.)

Finally, I was playing around a little more on Hulu, and found this great SNL clip, which got me thinking again about the upcoming season:

Now quick - somebody get me to February - NOW!

- El Capitan

Green Team!

Brilliant!

These guys seriously get funnier with each passing day... For those who know their other efforts, but might have missed their first online-only effort, check out "The Landlord" (a.k.a. "Pearl"):

Yes, I purposely chose the version with the Spanish subtitles for my Español-speaking readership - all 1 of you...

-El Capitan

Hulu

This morning, I FINALLY got in on the private beta for Hulu - the new streaming web service from Universal Media (NBC, amongst others)... Thought I'd try to give it a whirl by embedding this clip from the ALWAYS hilarious 30 Rock:

Seriously, how can you NOT love Katrina Bowden (oh, and the show too.. yeah... that's it...)

This can actually be really fun... You can watch an entire episode of a show, embed that episode, or take your own clip from that episode... Here's my first attempt - one of the funniest scenes, from one of the funniest shows on TV - The Office:

"Nailed It!"

-El Capitan

"You're The Best"

Vixy.net is a web-based application that allows you to convert all Flash-based videos (i.e. YouTube, MySpace Video, etc.) into various offline usable formats (MPEG for Windows, Quicktime for Mac, mp4 for iPod or PSP, etc.). Another feature it has is the ability to just strip the audio and convert to mp3 (and we all know where that's usable).

So I was recently helping a friend on his hunt for an mp3 of the song "You're The Best," by Joe Esposito. Many of you would know this classic from The Karate Kid. As iTunes only allows this song to be purchased as part of the entire soundtrack (whole album) to The King of Kong (more on that here), I decided to get creative and look for a video with the song on YouTube (and subsequently convert it to mp3 via Vixy). In my search, I came across this gem:

F'ing Classic!!

-El Capitan

Random Goodness

Just a couple of things on my radar today:

Britney Spears is calling her new album Blackout. Seriously.

It's Kid's Week on Jeopardy. The big winner: a white kid named "Kizzle"

And finally...

Upon watching a commercial tonight for the new allergy drug Veramyst, I read the following line at the bottom of the screen:

The way VERAMYST works is not entirely understood.

Here, check it out for yourself (about 14 seconds in):

Am I the only one who finds this strangely hilarious AND troublesome at the same time?

That's about it for now... More to come soon...

-El Capitan

Sorry, Roger - You Tiger Now!

Every once in a while, there comes along a commercial that just makes you El Oh El... We were just talking about this particular commercial at last night's Florida Panthers home opener...:

"Sorry Roger - you tiger now!"

I think that one's safe enough to file away with this favorite of ours:


-El Capitan

Ruh Roh...

Can you say... fucked?!



-El Capitan

Miss Teen South Carolina...

...for the hearing impaired:

Seriously - this makes me VERY nervous for the future... At least she'll be able to rely on her good looks (in a couple of years, when she's old enough to be hot, of course...)

In the interest of keeping at least a few brain cells, please enjoy the once-hot, always brilliant, Tina Fey:

I feel much better now...

-El Capitan

Uneasy (Like Sunday Morning)

I'll concur with the good Doctor Ogo (whom we can thank for this delicious bit of weird) when I say that I'm speechless (and we all know how rare that is!):


-El Capitan

F'n Ron Mexico

For those of you who don't know, about two years ago, Michael Vick allegedly had a torrid affair with a pretty young lady, and left her with "The Herp." The best part of the story - in his dalliance, he used the pseudonym "Ron Mexico." Where do people come up with these things?!

Anyways, herpes is the least of Vick's worries, and the least of what should be inflicted upon him after his latest scandal...

Again, for those who don't know, Michael Vick is making headlines for being charged with animal cruelty and running a dogfighting ring - sending Pit Bulls and other dogs into a ring to fight to the death, amongst other forms of torture.

If you ask me, it's absolutely nauseating, and if he is found guilty, I think he should be hit with the hardest penalties possible. Horrible!

Anyways, the backlash and parodies are starting to pour in, starting with local (to me, anyways) morning show Paul & Young Ron, from Big 105.9, sending their intern/assistant producer/bitch "Oh My God" Mike out into a field with only a dog-training suit, a bunch of meat, and a Michael Vick jersey... Here's what ensued:



Oh wait - it gets better!



This is "Vick's Chew Toy."

A company has cut through small amounts of red tape and verbiage to release what is now known as "Vick's Chew Toy." Formerly known as the "Vick Chew Toy," the doggie revenge device carried too similar a likeness to his Vickness and his Atlanta Falcons jersey, and had to be remodeled... Thus, it doesn't look exactly like Ron Mexico, but it gets the point across.

Paris should be expecting hers on or after September 7... :)

-El Capitan

Call Judd Brown NOW... or else!

So I'm watchin' Good Eats (a.k.a. my guilty pleasure) when mid-show, a local (read: "Comcast-produced") commercial comes on.

Normally I try not to pay much mind to the commercials other than the genius Starburst ads or those spots that run during the SuperBowl "Big Game," but this one in particular, for some reason, caught my ear:

Is he serious?

Does anybody else feel slightly nervous about asking this guy to help them out?

"I'll get you out of foreclosure, and in turn, I'll only take out one of your kneecaps..."

-El Capitan

Guillermo Bourne Ultimatum

For those of you who don't watch the brilliant Jimmy Kimmel Live, Jimmy has a long standing joke with/against Matt Damon, in that every time Matt is scheduled to appear on his show, he is scheduled for the last slot on the show, and subsequently gets bumped for a later date. In fact, to bring you up to speed, here's a clip reel from Jimmy's Anniversary/Salute To Jimmy episode that gives lots of those moments:

Well, now Jimmy has worked his way into Matt's film career, as he's made "arrangements" to have Matt bumped from his own film in favor of a new star, the "younger, hotter, Mexican-er" Guillermo - his parking lot security guard:

¡Clásico!

-El Capitan

New Office Policy - Swear Jar

The Gordon Group needs a swear jar...

I need to institute this policy SOMEWHERE in my life... If it's not at the office, definitely among the Friday Night Freeloaders:

Can I borrow your pen?
(Silence)
Can I borrow your F*CKING pen?

-El Capitan

Fuck YES!!

It's real!! It's REALLY real!!

"I wanna dip my BALLS in it!"
-Louie

-El Capitan

Has anybody seen June?

Did you know that June was the first month since I started "A Day In The Life..." back in May, 2005 that I didn't post ANYTHING? Pretty shameful if you ask me...

This is just a quick blurb to let you all know that I'm alive and well, and having a great time...

I'll do my best to stop by more often, and get some fun up here to keep you all entertained the only way I know how, by finding some funny-ass shit...

To jump start things, how about "The worst bowler EVER?"


(Video courtesy of Mr. Wrestling)

"Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down..."

(Gee, that bowler looks familiar...)

Thanks for all your patience... I'll see you all soon!

-El Capitan

'Oops..." indeed!

Life just doesn't ever get easier for this girl... Guess who had an Ashlee Simpson moment?

It's your "Lucky" day - you won't have to guess... There's video:


Seriously? Seriously...

Funny as hell? Of course... However, I actually think it would have been MUCH funnier if it actually happened during "Oops..."

-El Capitan

Morale Booster

I know I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I HATE Peyton Manning. I'm sure he's a good person, but between my love for Da Bears and The Gators, Peyton Manning is Enemy Number 1.

That's why it pains me to post yet another clip from his SNL hosting stint from a few weeks ago.

NBC ran the best of '06/'07 last night, this clip was among those repeated. I didn't realize how funny it was the first time I saw it, but after repeated viewings, it only gets funnier and funnier (especially watching Bill Hader, Kenan Thompson, and yes, Peyton Manning, fall apart into their towels in the background)

Check it out:


It's a little long, but trust me and try to watch the whole thing - it's bloody hilarious, and gets funnier and funnier as the clip goes on...

-LBC

Sofa King!

Here's a little shout to the Freeloaders:



Ahh, memories... They're Sofa King great!

-El Capitan

LBC Trax, Vol. 5 (4.6.07 - GH2 Edition!)

This is gonna be a fun one...

As some of you know, this week brought the latest addiction: Guitar Hero II.

This game is SO much fun... Essentially, you need to hold fret buttons while strumming a strum bar on a virtual guitar - and play notes to some of our favorite songs... Really - you gotta try it... Go to Best Buy... Now!

Want more evidence? Check these out:

David Babylon
Big Irish
TrippMD
and your's truly, LBC

Thanks to Trippster for most of those videos...

Here's where we get to the heart of the matter... This week's LBC Trax (Vol. 5!) is dedicated to my Top 10 Favorite Songs from the XBox version of Guitar Hero II:

-El Capitan

Top 10 (Go Gators!!)

Courtesy of Aaron:

Top 10 Reasons/Excuses Why the Buckeyes Lost (Again)

10. They didn't pay the referees enough.
9. Oden was distracted because it was bingo night at the nursing home.
8. Ate too many delicious buckeye candies before the game.
7. Someone spiked the Gatorade.
6. It doesn't matter because they should have been playing Michigan instead.
5. Too much SEC speed.
4. The team was thrown off by seeing Oden on the court for so long.
3. Couldn't shoot because the game was played in a dome.
2. They didn't want to show up the football team.
1. They were rusty because they had a longer layoff than the Gators.

(Yes, I know it's the football graphic, but it's too damn good...)

-El Capitan

F'n Petyon Manning

I'm not a big fan of Peyton Manning. Quite frankly, I loathe him. First, I had to deal with him in college, when he challenged my beloved Gators (albeit, never successfully). Then, he really fucked me over by earning this year's Super Bowl MVP while twisting the stake in my heart, as my Bears went home empty handed.

Fucking Peyton Manning.

That's why I'm so ashamed that I couldn't stop laughing at this skit from this past weekend's Saturday Night Live, where Peyton works with some kids from The United Way:

"I can't even look at you. You know what? Go sit in the Port-O-Let for 20 minutes. That's right - you stay in there."

"Why is the door open?! Close the door! Stay in there!"

I'll give credit where credit is due - the dude is funny. Or at least the writers from SNL stepped it up this week. Can't give him full credit. No way, no sir...

-El Capitan

"Wrong Sounding Muppets"

Just because it was the topic of discussion at dinner last night... (and because it's funny as shit!)

"Wocka, Wocka... Who wants to hear a funny-ass joke?"
-Fozzie Bear

-El Capitan

J&SBSB: The F*cking Short Version

I know this one will get me banned in China, if I'm not already...

Who the fuck says that Kevin Smith's fucking movies are full of vulgar fucking expletives? They don't know what the fuck they're fucking talking about... Take this, for example - a shortened version of the fucking classic, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back:



What the fuck, right?

-El Capitan

AFSCME... If I Care

Check out this "alternate take" on a PSA that aired many, many years ago... Had me "ROTFLMAO," as the kids say...



-El Capitan

Slip 'N Slide

Who went and left a banana peel on the runway?

Poor Carmen Electra... At least she handled it with grace... Only she can look so hot falling flat on her ass...

Of course it helped that the next girl came out and ate it, too...

-El Capitan

Great Googly Moogly

It takes a special kind of worker to produce such fine work:

"Are you smarter than a 5th grader?"

This bit of magic was spotted in the Walgreen's parking lot, in Weston, Florida, by yours truly...

You gotta wonder what went through his head after reading his fine artwork?



This reminds me of a previous post from way back when:

What's wrong with this picture?

See you all tomorrow, with LBC Trax, Vol. 2!

-El Capitan

Is that Journey? It is Journey...!

Honestly - who's ears don't perk up at the opening notes of Journey's classic hit, Don't Stop Believin'?

Apparently singing along to the song makes the strangest of bedfellows (as evidenced in a somewhat recent episode of Family Guy). Here's a prime example:

Dallas Cowboys quarterback, Tony Romo, and Mr. Belding?

Yes, you read that right. Apparently, at a recent show by heavy metal/hair band throwback rockers Metal Skool in Cali, Romo and Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding, of Saved By The Bell fame) jumped on stage to join the band in a rousing rendition of the classic.

Still sound too weird to be true? Here's the video!

"Just a small town girl - livin' in a lonely world...
She took the midnight train, goin' ANYwhere...
Just a city boy - born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train, goin' ANYwhere..."
-Journey

-El Capitan

Van Damme: The Freshmaker

Thanks to Dr. O for this little gem.

Sharp viewers out there will, no doubt, recognize this scene from Jean-Claude Van Damme's classic flick, Bloodsport. Check out this remix, in the tune of everybody's favorite commercial:



And don't forget Jean-Claude's American debut, in the break-dancin', rap-tastic classic, Breakin':



It's been a while since I laughed this hard...

-El Capitan

The Aftermath

First things first, I'd like to thank all those who came out yesterday, and those who cheered on Da Bears from afar... I appreciate all the sentiments, pre- and post-game...

I hear Arizona is beautiful this time of year... Hopefully Da Bears will be there next year, after this year's heartbreaking loss to the Colts of Indianapolis.

In fact, Super Bowl XLII will take place at the University of Phoenix/Cardinals Stadium - home of the Gators' BCS National Championship win earlier this year...

Now, on to the fun: The Commercials...

First, my top 3 (not necessarily in this order):

Class Mencia:


Rock, Paper, Scissors (Maybe we should try this one at kickball?):


Fist Bumps Are Out:


And one bonus (Don't know how we missed this one last night?):

"Quick, staring contest! You win. you always do..."
- Will Ferrell (as Robert Goulet)

Good luck to everybody on recovering from their "Super Bowl Hangovers." Pictures will be up ASAP.

-El Capitan

Super Bowl XLI

Am I allowed to call it the Super Bowl?

I guess as long as I'm not making any money off the phrase, I won't have any problems with the NFL...

Today is the day! Today is the day I've been waiting for my whole life - Da Bears in Da Super Bowl, in Miami! Does it get any better? Only if I were actually going to the game... (Seriously - where are all of these people buying tickets for $2,500 - $4,500?)

Instead, I'm gonna spend the day with my best friends, cheering on Da Bears, and taking in Lou Malnati's Pizza and Vienna Beef Hot Dogs (shipped directly from Chicago). If I can't go to Da Bears, I'm bringing Chicago to me! :)

And to help celebrate Da Bears appearance in Super Bowl XLI, I've got a few celebrity predictions for you below... Please enjoy:

First, an original (Bob Swerski's Super Fans):


Next, my personal favorite (Bob Swerski's Super Fans - with Michael Jordan):


And, finally, a current perspective (Conan O'Brien):


And, finally, from the Manning family vaults:


Nice fucking Tango, Peyton...

Just over 8 hours to go...! I'll leave you with one last thought:

Bear Down, Chicago Bears.
Make every play, clear the way to victory!
Bear Down, Chicago Bears.
Put up a fight with a might so fearlessly!

We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation,
With your T formation.

Bear Down, Chicago Bears.
And let them know why you're wearing the crown.

You're the pride and joy,
of all Illinois.

Chicago Bears, Bear Down!

-El Capitan

Bear Down, Chicago Bears!!

CHICAGO – Fantasy and reality merged into one on a blissful and snowy Sunday afternoon at Soldier Field as the Bears advanced to the Super Bowl for the first time in 21 years with a pulsating 39-14 victory over the New Orleans Saints in the NFC Championship Game.
-ChicagoBears.com

Bear Down, Chicago Bears!!

-El Capitan

iPhone Unboxed

I'm not quite sure if I can officially call it iPhone yet, so for now, we'll just call it iPhone.

There's a growing trend on the interwebs (as the kids call it) nowadays. Folks are taking pictures of the "unboxing" of their new gadgets/toys/gear. I've even got friends who have gotten in on the fun...

Click below for a group of guys who got together and "unboxed" their very own iPhone... Sure, it's a fake iPhone, but that's half the fun...


Just too funny... You know we'll be seeing lots of these in June, but for now, this will have to do (tape and all...)

-El Capitan

It's great... to be...

...a Florida Gator!

I know a couple of my friends may not approve of this graphic, but it has to be sent out into the wild:


Maybe next year?

-El Capitan

My Box In A Box

You knew it was only a matter of time:

"Britney showed the world her box, but my box is just for you."

Thanks to my cousin Matt (and his girlfriend Sam) for this one...

-El Capitan

Flow...

Sent to me by my friend Adam:


-El Capitan

A VERY Special Gift

So, I saw this clip on SNL this past weekend and laughed my ass off... I was all ready to put it up, but I figured that by the time I got it onto the blog-o-sphere, it'd be down... Such is not the case...

1: Cut a hole in a box.
2: Put your junk in that box.
3: Make her open the box.
That's the way you do it...

Seriously - this is the new Lazy Sunday... Get your fill before it's EVERYWHERE...

Thanks to Blackie for finding the YouTube for this one... Hopefully it'll stay up long enough for most of you to see it...

-El Capitan

Chanukah vs. Christmas

Courtesy of my Mom:

Now, if anyone asks you what the difference is between Christmas and Chanukah you will know what and how to answer!

1. Christmas is one day, same day every year, December 25. Jews also love December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to the movies and out for Chinese food and Israeli dancing (ok, not really on that one). Chanukah is 8 days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to consult a Hebrew calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all have the same calendar, provided free with a donation from the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher, or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel (especially in Florida) or other Jewish funeral home.

2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor holiday with the same theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat.

3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, stereos, etc. Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks or the collected works of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.

4. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can decide how to spell Chanukah, Chanukkah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah, etc.

5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Hanukah.

6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis.

7. Christmas carols are beautiful...Silent Night, Come All Ye Faithful. Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay, or having a party and dancing the hora. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal brethren. And don't Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?

8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful like the sweet smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in festive moods. A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes and onions. The home, as always, is full of people all talking at once.

9. Christian women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Jewish women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkes (Potato Pancakes for you goyim) on Chanukah. Another reminder of our suffering through the ages.

10. Parents deliver presents to their children during Christmas. Jewish parents have no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight nights.

11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names such as Mary, Joseph and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah Maccabee and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or pronounce it. On the plus side, we can tell our friends anything, and they believe we are wonderfully versed in our history.

12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews think, "Yossela, Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn't sleep with her and now you want to blame God? Here's the phone number of my shrink."

13. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more commercialized. The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor holiday. It makes sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur? "Forget about celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve yourself for 27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest, confess your sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets are a mere $200 per person." Better stick with Chanukah!


-El Capitan

My New Favorite Picture

Everybody say "Hi!" to Baby O!


I love the holiday season...

-El Capitan

Found Porn?

Ummm... I just don't know what to say...

Call me a pervert... call me a deviant... whatever...

Below is an image of one of Kleenex's new Oval boxes, with one of their "trendy" designs...

Does anybody else see what I see?

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt..."
-Stuart Smalley (Al Franken), Saturday Night Live

-El Capitan

"My Name-A Borat"

So JKaye came through HUGE with passes to tonight's sneak preview/early screening of Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, a.k.a. Borat.

For those of you who don't know, Borat is the genius creation/alter-ego of Sacha Baron Cohen, a Cambridge-educated actor/director from London. You may know him better as Ali G, or from this summer's big hit, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, where he played Jean Girrard, the gay, French F1/Nascar driver...

Honestly, I can't wait! I could use a big laugh, and from all of the reviews I've heard so far, I should definitely make a stop at the restroom BEFORE stepping foot in to the theater.

(Yeah, that was kinda gross...)

Anyways, I digress. Twentieth Century Fox has been nice enough to give us the first 4 minutes of the movie free on YouTube (or as Babylon calls it, GooTube). Check it out, and be sure to see the movie when it opens next week:


"This suit is black... (pause)... NOT..."
-Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen), Borat
-El Capitan

Little Superstar

Thank God for the little people... and Indians... Yeah - Indians...

Part Bollywood, Part Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, check out Little Superstar as he pop-locks his way into your hearts:



I needed this one today. I hate packing... and floods...

-El Capitan

Boys & Girls... ACTION!

"Action! ACTION!"

Finally...! After many years of begging and pleading that included the releases of Reno 911!, Stella, Wet Hot American Summer, and Skits & Stickers (not necessarily in that order), The State is HERE!

The State was a classic sketch comedy show that aired on MTV back in the day (1993-1995) before getting brought over to sister station CBS and falling apart like Swiss cheese. Memorable skits included $240 Worth of Pudding ("Awwwww yeaaaaahhhh..."), Doug ("I'm outta heeeeeerrrreee"), and Louie ("I wanna dip my BALLS in it!"), and had viewers (I was a loyal one) laughing their asses off every week.

Until now, the only way to get any of this footage was to purchase the VHS (what is VHS?) Skits & Stickers, or to trade among the rabid fanbase. Now, there's an alternative!



That's right - The State has finally hit iTunes - starting today! Season One is all there! Just click on the image above to be magically transported to the iTunes page...

As a bonus, I've decided to include the classic clip below. Seriously - I've seen Babylon laugh pretty hard before, but this clip actually induced his dead-on impression of the new Tickle Me Elmo (or, "TMX" for those in the know):

"Oh my God! It's the owner! RUN!!!"

-El Capitan

Vader = Smartass?

It's been a while since I posted any videos, and since I was abruptly awaken by the carpet cleaning guy this morning, I needed a good laugh to start the day...

You think Darth Vader ever has one of those days where he's just giddy and having fun fucking around with everybody?



From Chasing Amy:

Hooper X (Dwight Ewell): Check this shit. You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker; Nazi poster boy - blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian God!
Banky Edwards (Jason Lee): What's a "Nubian"?
Hooper: Shut the fuck up!

Banky: But Vader turns out to be Luke's father. And in Jedi, they become friends.
Hooper: Don't make me bust a cap in your ass, yo! Jedi's the most insulting installment. Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!
Banky: Well, isn't that true?
Hooper: BLACK RAGE!

-El Capitan

Is this thing on?

I'm pretty certain CNN anchor Kyra Phillips was having a worse day than I was the other day. Not only did she disparage her sister-in-law on national television, but she did it while she left her mic on while she was in the bathroom. Seriously.

Here's the unedited footage:



At least she had a good sense of humor about it. The next night, she appeared on Late Show with David Letterman, and presented her "Top Ten Excuses For Leaving Her Microphone On":



The silver lining? She did all of this while Dubya was speaking...

-El Capitan

Use Your Witchcraft!

"Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft to get the fire off me!"
-Ricky Bobby (Will Ferrell), Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

It's been a while since I saw a T-Shirt that made me laugh this hard:


(Click for the product page.)

-El Capitan

Gojira!

No, this is NOT a Sammy bashing post...

I get a call from my Mom the other day. Our conversation went something like this:

Mom: Do you know that Room To Grow Academy on Flamingo Road?
LBC: Sure - I see it on the way to the office every day. Why?
Mom: Tomorrow, when you're driving to work, bring your camera. Leave early, so you're not late (a running joke in the office). Pull over on the side of the road and take a picture of Room To Grow. I think it will be PERFECT for your site.
LBC: Okee dokee.

So, I wake up bright and early the next morning, and head to work. I head south on Flamingo Road, when I come to see this:


(Click To Enlarge)

Holy shit! That's a helluva way to greet little potential pre-schoolers...! This thing is downright frightening! I think it's the forked-tongue that pushes it over the edge...

I'll bet any amount that they went to buy/rent the (presumably smiling) dinosaur, thinking that "kids LOVE dinosaurs - especially purple ones!" Not such a bad thought, really...

I don't think, however, that they had any inclination that they'd end up with the bastard child of Godzilla and Barney...

Oh, what the hell... As long as we're talking about Godzilla AND Barney - I'd like to wish the big man (Sammy) a heartfelt congratulations on completing his Bar exam. Good luck!

-El Capitan

Balls, Beer, & Booty!

Did I say I'd post the Founder's Cup results on "July 25?" Well, by
"July 25," what I was actually saying was "August 1!"

We had such a great time last weekend!

First, I'd like to start by thanking The Babylons and TrippMD for making the hike down to Bicentennial Park in Miami to watch the tournament. It meant SO MUCH to have you guys there...

I'd also like to thank Mr. & Mrs. Wrestling, who made it as far as I-395, before the floodgates opened, and the tourney was interrupted...

Last, but certainly not least, I'd like to thank Tracy, Jessica, Maria, Jeff, Missy, Karen, Meena, and The Judds for showing their support for UVL!

Now, on to the results of the Pirate-themed tournament (hence the title of this blog post):


(We are... UVL!!!)
(Photo Courtesy of South Florida Sun-Sentinel /Mike Stocker)

Game 1: AA All-Stars 2, UVL 1
Sure, we lost our first game, but we were so proud of our performance! Going into the tournament, this was the 12th ranked team in the WORLD! To have held them to a 1-run win was a great feat on our part. Cap'n Jon Wickham and Dirty Dirty Trevor had a couple of plays that were so amazing that the AA All Stars AND the referees of the game came over to commend them!



("High Socks" at the bat)

Game 2: Good Times 9, UVL 1
Another loss - this one not as pretty... Something just didn't click, but it's all good... We had an BLAST, and that's what was most important.



(True sportsmanship - members of Good Times carry our own Jonathan Korb off the field after killing his knee making a monster defensive play)

As soon as Game 2 ended, the sky opened up. We literally saw the storm coming AT us over the highway. The next hour was spent under the Beer Tent (YES!) making new friends and partaking in a little Flip Cup.

Game 3: UVL 5, Fozzie's All Stars 3
Once the rain let up (only a little), we got to play in our Consolation Bracket against Fozzie's All Stars... This, by far, was our most fun game - regardless of the water torture that was upon us... These guys were out there to have a blast - just like us.

As a result of our performance in the 2006 Founder's Cup Tournament, UVL is now ranked #15(!) in the WAKA Power Poll, featured on Kickball365.com!



Thanks again to all who came out and those who were cheering for us from their respective locations!

Once again...

We are... UVL!

-El Capitan

"A Giant Fucking Spider!"

This is my absolute FAVORITE topic from An Evening With Kevin Smith, a DVD collection of Kevin's college appearances from several years back:



It's an amazing, hilarious collection, and if you haven't seen it, I HIGHLY recommend it. In fact, An Evening With Kevin Smith 2 - Evening Harder will be joining the illustrious Josh-busters later this year!

-El Capitan

Jay's Rap 2001

This one is pretty self-explanatory:


(Thanks to Jeff - and his leisure suit - for sending that one along!)

Everbody pay attention to the kid asking for the nickel bag... He's the only other "character" returning in Clerks II (beyond Jay, Silent Bob, Dante, & Randall). Notice I said "character," and not "actor."

Only 54 minutes until 7/21/06!

(And on a quick note, LoveFilm.com still has not yet posted an official answer key. If/when they do, it'll be here.)

-El Capitan

Timing is everything...

It's true what they say - timing IS everything... Take, for instance, this ad for Hotels.com, along with the poorly placed news report immediately following it:



Yeah... That's gotta suck...

-El Capitan

Pretty, Pretty Dancing

An oldie, but a goodie... I needed this one today:

"You know what a panda has for lunch? Yeah - they have bamboo."

-El Capitan

"Tit Dirt!!!"

I know, I know... You have all missed Tourette's Guy terribly... Me too...

Well, here he is - in a BRAND NEW clip actually titled "Tit Dirt." This is seriously one of his best yet... (BOB SAGET!) I almost fell out of my chair after he realized that they needed to come up with that $36! Enjoy:



I hope this one stays up long enough for most of you to see it... Bloody Hilarious!

"That's not Mickey Mouse. That's just "TIT DIRT!!!"
-Tourette's Guy

-El Capitan

Spelling... Is... Tough!

In honor of the first-ever primetime airing of the 2006 Scripps National Spelling Bee tonight on ABC (and ABC-HD!), check out this clip. This little dude is under so much pressure that when he is asked to spell one of the more difficult words, well, just watch and see:



The only thing better in this clip than the kid passing out is the fact that he actually got up and spelled the word correctly!

-El Capitan

'Yes! Yes! In The Face!"

We've all let our emotions get the best of us in the past. If you haven't, make sure I'm not around when you explode...!

This VERY protective mother was not very thrilled with what someone was saying about her daughter, so she took matters into her own hands - literally:



BAM!

-El Capitan

"That's a HUGE Bitch!"

It's been a while since I posted a new T-shirt, and this one is destined to be classic:

"That's a HUGE bitch!"
- The Bailiff (Jason Wall), Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

-El Capitan

Substitutions Can Be A Bitch

Did anybody else watch the Dallas-San Antonio game the other night? Scratch that. Of course you did.

Did anybody else notice Avery Johnson (the Mavericks' head coach) accidentally abusing one of his players on a substitution? Please, indulge:

Knock, knock.
Who's There?
D.
D, who?
Deez Nuts!

And, somehow, they still won.

-El Capitan

Hey Jo...

So this famous guy (I'm not quite sure who he is) is invited on to a morning show in Australia. The hosts are excited to have him there, and even more excited when he asks if he can take a moment to address his girlfriend, Jo. (He's gonna propose, isn't he? I mean, really, who isn't a sucker for romance and surprise?)

Oh, wait... That's not what you're here to say? Wow! That's an entirely different message, altogether.

("That's an entirely different message.")



Half the fun, of course, is in the delivery of the message. But the real fun - actually more like 51% of the fun - is watching the hosts reactions, as they realize what they've just seen. They melted from joy to shock in a matter of seconds...

-El Capitan

The Cereal Killers

(Note: Video is now WORKING)

For those of you who haven't checked out Robot Chicken yet, it's a genius blend of claymation and stopmotion capture, abusing some of your favorite pop culture icons in the process... And who do we have to thank for all of this? Seth Green, of course...

(One small step for man... one giant leap for short people!)

Check out The Cereal Killers, for instance. You had no idea how your favorite cereal mascots spent their time off TV, did you? This will completely skew your view FOREVER:

"So I says: 'Forget about me blue diamonds. I'm worried about me blue balls, you whoo-ah!'"
-The Lucky Charms Leprechaun"

(And by "Whoo-Ah," of course I mean "Whore." But you already knew that, didn't you? Damn, you're smart... I just don't type Irish very well.)

Bloody hilarious! One of the funniest things I've seen in a VERY long time...

You can find the rest of Robot Chicken airing during Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming lineup.

-El Capitan

The Carlton!

Seriously - How can you NOT laugh at "The Carlton?"



Classic!

-El Capitan

Traffic Rap

So "Jenny," the traffic reporter for WXII (Channel 12 - Greensboro/Winston Salem, NC), was driving into work one day when the idea struck her like a bolt of lightning:

"Why don't I try something new? How can I reach out to the youngins' of The Tarheel State? Maybe if I *rap* the traffic report, it'll get through to them... I can save LIVES!"

Why didn't somebody stop her?

Word!

I'll give her an "A" for effort, but honestly - let's hope she doesn't quit her day job...

-El Capitan

The Shockmaster!

This is an inside one for the original FluxW crew:



Poor Fred! It gets funnier every time I see it!

-El Capitan

"Excuse me, he's blind!"

To pull a direct quote from GorillaMask, where I found this hilarious screw-up:

"Unless homosexuality is suddenly deemed a crippling disability, this news anchor will probably be granted a little "time off" after her on-air screwup."

Think before you speak, lady!

-El Capitan

Average Homeboy

Meet Denny Blaze.

Denny isn't your average homeboy. He's made this demo video to show YOU his rapping skills. He's not from "urban areas," nor does he portray him self that way. He's just an average suburban kid, trying to "perfect his rapping skills."



Believe it or not, Denny's video has spread so wide that he will be performing LIVE on Jimmy Kimmel Live this coming Monday!

Finally, from Denny's OFFICIAL site:

10 things that may qualify YOU to be an Average Homeboy:

10. You don't write million dollar checks.
9. You don't live in a mansion or a box.
8. You have to cut the grass every week.
7. You don't have a butler or a maid.
6. Your exterminator is a can of raid.
5. You weren't born with a silver spoon.
4. You don't have a daddy who's a big tycoon.
3. You drive a Chevrolet.
2. You make your own bed and don't have a big head.
1. You eat Froot Loops before shooting hoops.

If you match up to this list, then...

For sure, YOU are an Average Homeboy!

Yes, it all rhymes... That's rappin' skills!

-El Capitan

Superstitious

Sports players around the world have certain superstitions and traditions that they adhere to before, during, and after every game.

Some players don't change their socks or underwear if they're on a winning streak. Some tap their shoes or clap their hands in a certain way, thinking it gives them certain abilities. Some just look up to the heavens, and ask God for help...

Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees (known by many of you as A-Rod), cleans his bat after just about every foul ball he hits. This particular occasion just happened to be caught on camera, at just the right angle to make it post-worthy:



I guess that's one way to "clean a bat..."

-El Capitan

How do you 'splode a Mac?

Much like my last round of heavy duty posts, let's start today off with a BANG!

This dude had an idea. He wanted to buy a new Apple G5 Mac. In order to do so, he needed to raise approximately $5,000. The best way to raise money? Offer to blow something up, of course!

So, he set out with the premise that if he earned the money (one quarter at a time), he'd blow up his old G4. The problem - he didn't really know how to get the job done... Here is his tale:



Normally, before the last few days, I'd probably use this little bit of video to demonstrate how I felt about all Apple computers (but not my precious iPod, of course). Instead, I'll used it to eat some crow.

Babylon has been hyping me on Apple computers for YEARS now. I'm finally giving in, and doing a whole bunch of research into the new MacBook. Affordable, thin, and light, this computer seems to have all the features I need in a laptop (wireless, DVD, widescreen, hi-res, fast, bluetooth). It certainly won't serve as a desktop replacement, but as a traveling companion (a.k.a. business expense). Any suggestions, good or bad?

-El Capitan

"Signs, signs..."

"...Everywhere are signs."
Signs, Five Man Electrical Band and/or Tesla

I took this one on the way home from the office... There's really no explanation necessary:


(Click To Enlarge)

And sent to me by Mr. Wrestling:


(Click To Enlarge)

You gotta wonder if they put thought into these...? Either way, we need to thank both the chuch and the trucking company for their help in making us laugh this morning...

Hopefully, this will serve as a sign of more FluxW.com/LBCapt.com goodness to come...!

-El Capitan

Whoa... The Price IS... 420!

Dude... Like... Check this out... This dude has wasted waited his whole life for this - or at least since his last Doobie...



Oh, to be back in college...

You really gotta love how the crowd gets into it... Classic!

Dude...

-El Capitan

Hangover

A night full of Zima and cigs can be hell... Just ask this cat:

"Party's over..."

-El Capitan

Lose weight with Ayd's

Do you remember when the world was a much simpler place? A time when certain things had a much different meaning than they do today? Remember when it was "hip" to lose weight with Ayd's?

I don't personally, but this commercial sure helps:



Yes, seriously... There was actually a diet supplement called Ayd's...

"Ayd's helped me get back into a size 12."

-El Capitan

Bang!

Hey gang... I'm sorry for the lack of posts lately... It's really just been a combination of being busy at the office, kickball picking back up, having the flu, and just general blasé.

Hopefully, this little batch of fun will bring me out of the funk, while filling your craving for comedy goodness...

Let's start this off with a bang:



Poor schmuck... I hope it wasn't his "shootin' hand!"

The thing is, we did the same stupid shit as kids - we were just much, much luckier!

-El Capitan

Presidential Abuse

As we have all seen recently, our President is somewhat easily manipulated.

(No, I'm not about to go on some political rant - I learned as a kid to never talk about two things, unless you want to get into an argument: religion & politics.)

Now, back to where I was... My mom actually sent me this fun little Flash app. Left-click on George with your cursor, and drag him across the screen. Let go of the mouse, and watch him bounce and tumble as he makes his way down...Abusing George is fun...

-El Capitan

Snake Charmer

I wanted to unload a few bits of hilarity on you all before the weekend took hold of all of my time...

First up, this classic bit from the British gameshow, Catch Phrase. The object of the game is to figure out the pictogram (put the pictures together to form a saying) before your opponent. This one, however, went wrong from the beginning:



One of the funniest things I've ever seen...! I still remember the tears rolling from my eyes the first time I saw that one...

-El Capitan

"What's in the box?"

One of the creepiest scenes of all time was the ending to the movie Seven. If only there was a way to make it less creepy? Oh, wait! There is! Let's fill the roles with stuffed animals:

"What's in the box? What's in the fucking box?!"
Detective Mills (Brad Pitt), Seven

-El Capitan

"Son Of Man"

Did I mention I hate being sick? Here's the latest in a progression of Nyquil induced posts:


I just don't know what to say... If I weren't Jewish, I'd SO be going to Hell for posting this...

(But really - isn't it the kid's fault for filming it to begin with?)

-El Capitan

Flashbacks & Racetracks

Being sick sucks. Bad. At least I got my internet back... I just downed a couple of Nyquil Liqui-Gels, but I wanted to get at least one post out before I drifted off to that green-tinted dreamland...

A favorite among the boys (especially of mine and Babylon), check out these two clips from MTV2's genius/sick 'puppet show on crack,' Wondershowzen:

"You're never too young to have a Vietnam flashback."

I can do an impression of you. I can! "Gamble, gamble, gamble, DIE."
- Trevor, "Beat Kids," Wondershowzen

Forget gold... This shit is comedy PLATINUM!

-El Capitan

"I'm the Leprechaun!"

First things first, I'd like to thank EVERYBODY for your support and caring during this past week's events. I truly appreciate all of your help getting through this rough time... THANK YOU!

Now, on to the funny:

Apparently, back around St. Patty's Day, there was a Leprechaun sighting in a rural town near Mobile, Alabama (aren't they all rural in Alabama?). Check out this eyewitness testimony, along with an amateur sketch, so you can help in the search to bring the Leprechaun to justice!

"To me, it look like Leprechaun to me. All you gotta do is look up in da tree. Who else see a Leprechaun?! Say 'Yeah!'"
-Eyewitness

-El Capitan

"I want to poop back and forth."

You ever want to make someone feel uncomfortable in just one sentence? This one is almost sure to do the job...



This one is a little strange... I'm not quite sure why I find this one so funny, but I can't help but laugh out loud on each viewing...

"I want to poop - back and forth."

Speaking of poop - Did you know that they make a lip balm called "Chicken Poop?" They do! Learn all about it here:

.

-El Capitan

It Only Takes A Second...

I think we all need to thank the Federated Mutual Insurance Company for making a risk management / liability video so bad that you can't help but point and laugh... "Stupid video! You suck!"

This is the textbook definition of "unintentionally funny":



The best part? Watch toward the end, as the mother and daughter are driving along, laughing, and frolicking. All of a sudden, the daughter screams bloody murder, and BOOM! Their car collides with another in front of them - exploding! Watch carefully, as the car they hit explodes BEFORE impact! Leaves you to wonder what the hell was in the back of that car, huh?

-El Capitan

Gates vs. Dynamite

Thanks to Mrs. Babylon for supplying this bit of morning fun!

What would the world be like if Bill Gates and Napoleon Dynamite were roommates? Wonder no more! Check out this clip, already! Gosh!



Nobody should ever let Bill Gates dance. Ever.

-El Capitan

Terror Watchlist

I was given this clip from SNL a few weeks ago, but haven't been able to put it up, because I couldn't find it on YouTube or Google Video. Apparently, NBC has put a moratorium on all of their footage appearing on these sites... Thus, El Capitan had to go and get all creative.

Below is a link to my first ever TRULY embedded video (without the help of YouTube or Google), and it's comedy GOLD, I tell ya! I'm working on turning off the Autoplay feature, so for now, it's a link to an external page. It'll be fully embedded soon, but in the meantime, enjoy:


Haid D'Salaami! Fucking hilarious!

-El Capitan

Lightning Bolt!

I had a really awful night last night, and DESPERATELY needed a good laugh this morning...

Sure, I've had my share of fun laughing at geeks over time, but these guys truly take the cake:



Watch carefully... When one guy screams "lightning bolt!" one guy appears affected. When another screams "sleep" or "death," the same is true.

Holy shit! I'm SO glad I never got this nerdified...!

(On a quick side note: Not to get all sappy and shit, but, to all of my friends and family, I love you all, and truly appreciate you all every day. Please don't forget that. Be sure to tell your loved ones the same, as you never know when you won't get another chance...)

Ok, buzz kill over...

There's more fun to come later today...

-El Capitan

Give us all your money...!

It's 1978. You're young, ambitious, and flush with cash. Would you give your money to this motley crew?



Oh yeah... That's Microsoft, circa 1978. The bearded maniac in the lower right corner? That's Paul Allen - owner of the NFC Champion Seattle Seahawks, and frankly, all of Seattle. He's worth about $20 Billion.

The geeky kid in the lower left corner? Bill Gates, of course...

Now, give us all your money!

-El Capitan

Jewbacca

Yet another huge thanks to Mrs. Babylon for finding this one...

Mr. Notable - you've been releived of your recent nickname, "The 40-Year Old Virgin." Henceforth, you've been blessed with a new nickname:

(Click image to see the originating webpage, DeezTeez.com)

And, of course, the description from their website:

"Jewbacca is a wookie that faced alot of anti-semitism growing up. That's bullshit! The Ewoks are bullshit! Everyone knows Chewbacca was Jewish, he speaks Yiddish."

That, alone, is worth its weight in gold!

-El Capitan

Makin' Patties

I severely doubt this one is a legit commercial, but it's hilarious nonetheless...

Ever wonder where Whopper Jrs. come from?


(Brought to us courtesy of Break.com)

That one goes out to Jon... Not the cow humping part! The BK part...! It's working "For," not "at!"

-El Capitan