Red Baaaaand Time!

Hey gang - I'm still alive... More to come soon, but in the meantime, check this out:

The MASTER does it again...!

-El Capitán

Harvey Dent: The Transformation

Man, Harvey Dent must have fallen into some pretty NASTY stuff... Check out the before and after pics:


Crazy, right?

-El Capitan

Let's Make A Porno!

Seriously - you could put Kevin Smith's name on a box of shit and fire ants - I'd still start a countdown to the opening...

Behold, the teaser for his latest, Zack & Miri Make A Porno:

While this one is only a teaser (not to be confused with a trailer - there's a difference, per Mr. Smith), I still can't wait for October 31!

-El Capitán

And here... we... GO!

(Update: Click HERE for the original, hi-res version!)

This DEFINITELY won't be up for long... Check it out while you can:

Can't wait!!

-El Capitán

Dos Palabras

I've got two words for ya (and they aren't 'Suck It'):

Zombie Strippers!

Really - does it get any better? Oh, it does...

Jenna Jameson AND Robert Englund!!

Better than that?? There's a trailer!

Madame Blavatski: But - but, what about the girls, huh? They're good girls...
Jessy: They're zombies...
Madame Blavatski: No! They're strippers...!
Lillith: They're Zombie Strippers!

You just can't make this stuff up! For more, visit the official site (yes, this is a Sony Pictures film!).

Where can I get in line??

- El Capitán

Revenge, Soap, and Milkshakes

It takes something like this to get me back into the blogospheres...

(Let me preface this by saying that the videos below are worth EVERY second of your time - you WILL NOT laugh harder for quite some time - or at least the next 10 minutes.)

As I've blogged about before, Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon have had a little "feud," shall we say, going on over the years. Matt has been invited as a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live countless times over the past few years, only to be shuffled off stage as Jimmy conveniently "runs out of time..."

So a little while back, Jimmy's girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, presented Jimmy with a music video she had produced just for him, to let him in on a little something that had been going on in her personal life. Here's that video (as sent to me by Sammy, Ariel, Heather, my mom, and several others):

"She's f*cking Matt Damon!"

Fast forward to last night... Jimmy took the opportunity of a lifetime - his cushy post-Oscar telecast - to deliver a little revenge. And as we all know from the Klingon proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Here's Jimmy's video retaliation (fucking CLASSIC!):

"He's f*cking Ben Affleck!"

Seriously - that one is like a who's-who of A-listers, right? Like a We Are The World for Gen-Y!

Before I leave you with that, I've got a few other thoughts that have come across my scattered brain lately:

Did you know that there's a difference between a Lotion Dispenser and a Soap Dispenser?

Neither did I - until I had a strange visit to Bed, Bath, and Beyond recently. Part of decorating my new house has been the accessorizing of the bathrooms. I bought a nice looking (and still masculine) set for my bathroom, which included a dispenser that wouldn't dispense. Upon my attempt to exchange said dispenser for a working model, this tasty bit of knowledge was dropped on me. The solution offered by the store manager: "Just dilute it with some water - it'll work fine."

It does, but I still feel a little cheated with my watery-soapy-goo-dispenser...

Can anybody tell me the difference between Durmot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott?
How about Taye Diggs and Tyson Beckford?
And Jon's wondering how to tell the difference between Michael Madsen and Tom Sizemore...
I'm just sayin...

I haven't plugged in my PC in over two months (in fact, it's still sitting in my trunk) - and I'm OK with that... LOVE my MacBook and my iMac...

I'm SO happy to have LOST back!

Finally, a brilliant clip from this past Saturday Night Live (the first back from the strike), and an homage to Daniel Day Lewis' Oscar winner, There Will Be Blood:

"I drink YOUR MILKSHAKE!"

Thanks for your patience... I'll be back much sooner next time!

-El Capitán

Green Team!

Brilliant!

These guys seriously get funnier with each passing day... For those who know their other efforts, but might have missed their first online-only effort, check out "The Landlord" (a.k.a. "Pearl"):

Yes, I purposely chose the version with the Spanish subtitles for my Español-speaking readership - all 1 of you...

-El Capitan

Hulu

This morning, I FINALLY got in on the private beta for Hulu - the new streaming web service from Universal Media (NBC, amongst others)... Thought I'd try to give it a whirl by embedding this clip from the ALWAYS hilarious 30 Rock:

Seriously, how can you NOT love Katrina Bowden (oh, and the show too.. yeah... that's it...)

This can actually be really fun... You can watch an entire episode of a show, embed that episode, or take your own clip from that episode... Here's my first attempt - one of the funniest scenes, from one of the funniest shows on TV - The Office:

"Nailed It!"

-El Capitan

"You're The Best"

Vixy.net is a web-based application that allows you to convert all Flash-based videos (i.e. YouTube, MySpace Video, etc.) into various offline usable formats (MPEG for Windows, Quicktime for Mac, mp4 for iPod or PSP, etc.). Another feature it has is the ability to just strip the audio and convert to mp3 (and we all know where that's usable).

So I was recently helping a friend on his hunt for an mp3 of the song "You're The Best," by Joe Esposito. Many of you would know this classic from The Karate Kid. As iTunes only allows this song to be purchased as part of the entire soundtrack (whole album) to The King of Kong (more on that here), I decided to get creative and look for a video with the song on YouTube (and subsequently convert it to mp3 via Vixy). In my search, I came across this gem:

F'ing Classic!!

-El Capitan

At World's End: The Trailer!!

I don't know about you, but I'm very anxiously awaiting the release of the final film in the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.

Disney was kind enough to not only release the trailer, but to give bloggers like me a nifty little "You Tube-esque" streaming flash video player to pass the world along to you. Without further adieu:

To see this one in higher resolution/larger stream, check it out over at ComingSoon.net by clicking here.

May is going to be AMAZING... Spidey 3, Shrek 3, and now Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Can't fucking wait!

-El Capitan

J&SBSB: The F*cking Short Version

I know this one will get me banned in China, if I'm not already...

Who the fuck says that Kevin Smith's fucking movies are full of vulgar fucking expletives? They don't know what the fuck they're fucking talking about... Take this, for example - a shortened version of the fucking classic, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back:



What the fuck, right?

-El Capitan

NBC ♥'s Spidey

Last night, during another "killer" episode of Heroes, NBC gave us a preview - for a preview - for an HD preview of scenes from the upcoming Spider-Man 3. To borrow from Microsoft's recent advertising blitz, all I can say is "Wow!"

I'll bet you'll have the same reaction, and here's why:


(Click to enlarge...)

5.4.07 can't come soon enough!

-El Capitan

Van Damme: The Freshmaker

Thanks to Dr. O for this little gem.

Sharp viewers out there will, no doubt, recognize this scene from Jean-Claude Van Damme's classic flick, Bloodsport. Check out this remix, in the tune of everybody's favorite commercial:



And don't forget Jean-Claude's American debut, in the break-dancin', rap-tastic classic, Breakin':



It's been a while since I laughed this hard...

-El Capitan

Sweep The Leg

Coming soon...



Some of you already know about this... Others, not yet... You will...

I hope to have much more information after this weekend...

In fact, nothing would make me happier...

-El Capitan

Spidey 3 Trailer!

Is it May 4th yet?


(Just Push Play!)

I coulda used a little more Venom, but:

Wow!!

-El Capitan

"My Name-A Borat"

So JKaye came through HUGE with passes to tonight's sneak preview/early screening of Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, a.k.a. Borat.

For those of you who don't know, Borat is the genius creation/alter-ego of Sacha Baron Cohen, a Cambridge-educated actor/director from London. You may know him better as Ali G, or from this summer's big hit, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, where he played Jean Girrard, the gay, French F1/Nascar driver...

Honestly, I can't wait! I could use a big laugh, and from all of the reviews I've heard so far, I should definitely make a stop at the restroom BEFORE stepping foot in to the theater.

(Yeah, that was kinda gross...)

Anyways, I digress. Twentieth Century Fox has been nice enough to give us the first 4 minutes of the movie free on YouTube (or as Babylon calls it, GooTube). Check it out, and be sure to see the movie when it opens next week:


"This suit is black... (pause)... NOT..."
-Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen), Borat
-El Capitan

It's Showtime, Folks!

Although I haven't made much mention of it quite yet, I've recently been bit by the Apple bug.

Yes, it's true. Me - one of the biggest Apple detractors of the past. What have I done?!

Actually, I went out and got me a MacBook. And I need to tell you, I couldn't be happier with it! I'm absolutely blown away with this little monster and all that it can do. The recent commercials aren't exaggerating when they detail the big differences between a Mac and a PC.

Why all of this Apple love today? It's an Apple Announcement day, of course.

Every once in a while, Apple calls together the press for what is usually a landmark reveal of all that is new in the Apple catalog. Past keynotes have included the announcements of iTunes, iPod, MacBook, and most recently, the new Mac Pro. I expect today's announcement to be just as Earth shattering.

Today, Apple is expected to announceme the sale of several items - most notably FULL MOVIES on the iTunes Music Store. (Needs a new name, huh?) Other announcements should include iTunes 7, a new, scratch-proof stainless steel iPod nano and possibly a wireless Video device to allow you to watch your Mac and PC videos on your SD and HD TV's.

Adding to all of this is this article (from The Unofficial Apple Weblog), which hints that Apple may in fact change the name of the iTunes Music Store (iTMS) to "Apple Showtime!" Could be a VERY ineresting day!

Here's a link to Apple, where you should be able to get all the juicy (Get it? Apple?) details shortly after lunch time:



(Oh, by the way - I took that screen capture above using Shift-Command-4 and then Space Bar to get just that window!)

-El Capitan

Jack's Back

My cousin Geoff sent me this classic trailer remix...

Part Titanic. Part Catch Me If You Can. And yes, part Encino Man. Check out "Titanic: Two The Surface":



Personally, I think we would have been much better served with the title going around with this video: Titanic II: Jack Is Back

-El Capitan