I'll tell you what - lately, there seems to be a growing trend of using Jim Henson's furry little friends in as many viral videos as possible. And frankly, they're pretty fucking hilarious...! Here's the best of the bunch (be sure to watch ALL three!):
JKL's Unnecessary Censorship - Sesame Street Edition
I'll admit it - I'm a Meatloaf fan. Both the food AND the singer. I know, I know... And while I could give you my grandmother's KILLER recipe for the former, today's post is sadly focused on the latter, so be ready...
Has anybody seen the new AT&T GoPhone ad? The one with Meatloaf, Tiffany, and some poor-lip-synching putz singing a warped version of "Paradise By The Dashboard Light?" Of course you have...
Wait - you haven't? Ok, well, here's the commercial-ready version (followed by the longer, more in-depth version - with added memory-ruining chunky bits - at the bottom of the post):
0:30 Version:
OK, here just a few of my MANY problems with this commercial:
It takes a song that brought back good memories and KILLS it for something not even remotely near what the original song was about.
Both Meatloaf AND Tiffany sold their souls for this one...
The kid TOTALLY lip-syncs his portion of the song - and does so very poorly, if I might say so myself...
I don't know - for some reason, this commercial just rubs me the WRONG way... Maybe something better will come along today...
And now for my Social Network Plug Of The Week - my new favorite online toy: Muxtape.com! Basically, it's an online repository, where you can upload up to twelve songs, and compile them into a mixtape to share with your friends. Each song begins streaming when you click on the title, and continues on to the next song when done... So simple, yet SO cool!
While you're there, check out my current Muxtape @ http://lbcapt.muxtape.com. I'll be keeping that up to date as frequently as possible (hopefully much better than my attempts on here!)
Now here it is, kids - the moment you've all been waiting for - the Full 1:30 Version of "Bastardized By The Go Phone Light":
What's even better? The fact that I felt like calling my celly a "Go Phone" all week - but for totally different reasons...
That's about it for now, kids... Have a very DIRTY week!
So today, I lead with one of the strangest bits I've seen on the show:
Now on to the ad game, and the one that's been sticking out in EVERYBODY'S minds (and vocabulary) lately (this one is SFW, although the tone may not indicate it). Here is the extended version:
Seriously - not a day goes by lately that I don't hear somebody referred to as a "Lint Licker" or a "Cootie Queen!"
I leave you today with what is probably the best (read: "funniest," NSFW) bit in this post (one that had me laughing harder the longer it went on) - a video brought to us by Sr. Mario J.:
"Who designed this fucking level?!"
Seriously - I'm crying!!
Until next time, true believers - Stay Dirty (and or Awkward)!
It takes something like this to get me back into the blogospheres...
(Let me preface this by saying that the videos below are worth EVERY second of your time - you WILL NOT laugh harder for quite some time - or at least the next 10 minutes.)
As I've blogged about before, Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon have had a little "feud," shall we say, going on over the years. Matt has been invited as a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live countless times over the past few years, only to be shuffled off stage as Jimmy conveniently "runs out of time..."
So a little while back, Jimmy's girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, presented Jimmy with a music video she had produced just for him, to let him in on a little something that had been going on in her personal life. Here's that video (as sent to me by Sammy, Ariel, Heather, my mom, and several others):
"She's f*cking Matt Damon!"
Fast forward to last night... Jimmy took the opportunity of a lifetime - his cushy post-Oscar telecast - to deliver a little revenge. And as we all know from the Klingon proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Here's Jimmy's video retaliation (fucking CLASSIC!):
"He's f*cking Ben Affleck!"
Seriously - that one is like a who's-who of A-listers, right? Like a We Are The World for Gen-Y!
Before I leave you with that, I've got a few other thoughts that have come across my scattered brain lately:
Did you know that there's a difference between a Lotion Dispenser and a Soap Dispenser?
Neither did I - until I had a strange visit to Bed, Bath, and Beyond recently. Part of decorating my new house has been the accessorizing of the bathrooms. I bought a nice looking (and still masculine) set for my bathroom, which included a dispenser that wouldn't dispense. Upon my attempt to exchange said dispenser for a working model, this tasty bit of knowledge was dropped on me. The solution offered by the store manager: "Just dilute it with some water - it'll work fine."
It does, but I still feel a little cheated with my watery-soapy-goo-dispenser...
Can anybody tell me the difference between Durmot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott? How about Taye Diggs and Tyson Beckford? And Jon's wondering how to tell the difference between Michael Madsen and Tom Sizemore... I'm just sayin...
I haven't plugged in my PC in over two months (in fact, it's still sitting in my trunk) - and I'm OK with that... LOVE my MacBook and my iMac...
Finally, a brilliant clip from this past Saturday Night Live (the first back from the strike), and an homage to Daniel Day Lewis' Oscar winner, There Will Be Blood:
No, I'm not making reference to the classic (and hilarious) Bill Murray movie about getting a second (or third, or fourth, or fifteenth chance to do your life over), although any post would be lucky to have such a topic.
No, instead, I'm referring to the date of Groundhog Day - February 2. February 2, 2008 to be exact. It can't come fast enough.
That my friends, is the tentative date for the LOST Season 4 premiere!
Need a fix in the meantime? Well, you've got a few choices.
First up - the official LOST site @ ABC.com. What's there, you ask? A great NEW video - the Orchid Station Orientation. This one just begins to delve into a little bit of time shift!!
Need more? For the 13 weeks prior to the start of the season, ABC is treating us to Mobisodes - both on cellphones and on a sub-site at ABC.com. Known as the Missing Pieces, these little clips fill in some blanks that we may not have thought about before - just whetting the appetite that much more... (Mobisodes 1 and 2 are up now, 3 is coming Monday.)
Finally, I was playing around a little more on Hulu, and found this great SNL clip, which got me thinking again about the upcoming season:
These guys seriously get funnier with each passing day... For those who know their otherefforts, but might have missed their first online-only effort, check out "The Landlord" (a.k.a. "Pearl"):
Yes, I purposely chose the version with the Spanish subtitles for my Español-speaking readership - all 1 of you...
Vixy.net is a web-based application that allows you to convert all Flash-based videos (i.e. YouTube, MySpace Video, etc.) into various offline usable formats (MPEG for Windows, Quicktime for Mac, mp4 for iPod or PSP, etc.). Another feature it has is the ability to just strip the audio and convert to mp3 (and we all know where that's usable).
So I was recently helping a friend on his hunt for an mp3 of the song "You're The Best," by Joe Esposito. Many of you would know this classic from The Karate Kid. As iTunes only allows this song to be purchased as part of the entire soundtrack (whole album) to The King of Kong (more on that here), I decided to get creative and look for a video with the song on YouTube (and subsequently convert it to mp3 via Vixy). In my search, I came across this gem:
I'll concur with the good Doctor Ogo (whom we can thank for this delicious bit of weird) when I say that I'm speechless (and we all know how rare that is!):
For those of you who don't know, about two years ago, Michael Vick allegedly had a torrid affair with a pretty young lady, and left her with "The Herp." The best part of the story - in his dalliance, he used the pseudonym "Ron Mexico." Where do people come up with these things?!
Anyways, herpes is the least of Vick's worries, and the least of what should be inflicted upon him after his latest scandal...
Again, for those who don't know, Michael Vick is making headlines for being charged with animal cruelty and running a dogfighting ring - sending Pit Bulls and other dogs into a ring to fight to the death, amongst other forms of torture.
If you ask me, it's absolutely nauseating, and if he is found guilty, I think he should be hit with the hardest penalties possible. Horrible!
Anyways, the backlash and parodies are starting to pour in, starting with local (to me, anyways) morning show Paul & Young Ron, from Big 105.9, sending their intern/assistant producer/bitch "Oh My God" Mike out into a field with only a dog-training suit, a bunch of meat, and a Michael Vick jersey... Here's what ensued:
Oh wait - it gets better!
This is "Vick's Chew Toy."
A company has cut through small amounts of red tape and verbiage to release what is now known as "Vick's Chew Toy." Formerly known as the "Vick Chew Toy," the doggie revenge device carried too similar a likeness to his Vickness and his Atlanta Falcons jersey, and had to be remodeled... Thus, it doesn't look exactly like Ron Mexico, but it gets the point across.
Paris should be expecting hers on or after September 7... :)
For those of you who don't watch the brilliant Jimmy Kimmel Live, Jimmy has a long standing joke with/against Matt Damon, in that every time Matt is scheduled to appear on his show, he is scheduled for the last slot on the show, and subsequently gets bumped for a later date. In fact, to bring you up to speed, here's a clip reel from Jimmy's Anniversary/Salute To Jimmy episode that gives lots of those moments:
Well, now Jimmy has worked his way into Matt's film career, as he's made "arrangements" to have Matt bumped from his own film in favor of a new star, the "younger, hotter, Mexican-er" Guillermo - his parking lot security guard:
I know I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I HATE Peyton Manning. I'm sure he's a good person, but between my love for Da Bears and The Gators, Peyton Manning is Enemy Number 1.
That's why it pains me to post yet another clip from his SNL hosting stint from a few weeks ago.
NBC ran the best of '06/'07 last night, this clip was among those repeated. I didn't realize how funny it was the first time I saw it, but after repeated viewings, it only gets funnier and funnier (especially watching Bill Hader, Kenan Thompson, and yes, Peyton Manning, fall apart into their towels in the background)
Check it out:
It's a little long, but trust me and try to watch the whole thing - it's bloody hilarious, and gets funnier and funnier as the clip goes on...
Who the fuck says that Kevin Smith's fucking movies are full of vulgar fucking expletives? They don't know what the fuck they're fucking talking about... Take this, for example - a shortened version of the fucking classic, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back:
Sharp viewers out there will, no doubt, recognize this scene from Jean-Claude Van Damme's classic flick, Bloodsport. Check out this remix, in the tune of everybody's favorite commercial:
And don't forget Jean-Claude's American debut, in the break-dancin', rap-tastic classic, Breakin':
First things first, I'd like to thank all those who came out yesterday, and those who cheered on Da Bears from afar... I appreciate all the sentiments, pre- and post-game...
I hear Arizona is beautiful this time of year... Hopefully Da Bears will be there next year, after this year's heartbreaking loss to the Colts of Indianapolis.
In fact, Super Bowl XLII will take place at the University of Phoenix/Cardinals Stadium - home of the Gators' BCS National Championship win earlier this year...
Now, on to the fun: The Commercials...
First, my top 3 (not necessarily in this order):
Class Mencia:
Rock, Paper, Scissors (Maybe we should try this one at kickball?):
Fist Bumps Are Out:
And one bonus (Don't know how we missed this one last night?):
"Quick, staring contest! You win. you always do..."
- Will Ferrell (as Robert Goulet)
Good luck to everybody on recovering from their "Super Bowl Hangovers." Pictures will be up ASAP.
I guess as long as I'm not making any money off the phrase, I won't have any problems with the NFL...
Today is the day! Today is the day I've been waiting for my whole life - Da Bears in Da Super Bowl, in Miami! Does it get any better? Only if I were actually going to the game... (Seriously - where are all of these people buying tickets for $2,500 - $4,500?)
Instead, I'm gonna spend the day with my best friends, cheering on Da Bears, and taking in Lou Malnati's Pizza and Vienna Beef Hot Dogs (shipped directly from Chicago). If I can't go to Da Bears, I'm bringing Chicago to me! :)
And to help celebrate Da Bears appearance in Super Bowl XLI, I've got a few celebrity predictions for you below... Please enjoy:
First, an original (Bob Swerski's Super Fans):
Next, my personal favorite (Bob Swerski's Super Fans - with Michael Jordan):
And, finally, a current perspective (Conan O'Brien):
And, finally, from the Manning family vaults:
Nice fucking Tango, Peyton...
Just over 8 hours to go...! I'll leave you with one last thought:
Bear Down, Chicago Bears. Make every play, clear the way to victory! Bear Down, Chicago Bears. Put up a fight with a might so fearlessly!
We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation, With your T formation.
Bear Down, Chicago Bears. And let them know why you're wearing the crown.
I'm not quite sure if I can officially call it iPhone yet, so for now, we'll just call it iPhone.
There's a growing trend on the interwebs (as the kids call it) nowadays. Folks are taking pictures of the "unboxing" of their new gadgets/toys/gear. I've even got friends who have gotten in on the fun...
Click below for a group of guys who got together and "unboxed" their very own iPhone... Sure, it's a fake iPhone, but that's half the fun...
Just too funny... You know we'll be seeing lots of these in June, but for now, this will have to do (tape and all...)
